This is going to be a bit of a rant, but I’m tired of getting shit upon for going through a depression.
Depression isn’t something you can just shut off. Like anxiety, it’s part of your genetic makeup. It’s a chemical process in the brain that happens when life gets to be too much. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all.
It comes and goes as if it were a living and breathing organism and you have zero control over it. Yes, you can take medications, go to therapy, do all the healthy things to “snap out of it” – but you cannot just will it to go away.
Positive thinking and attitudes are great. But with depression – you see the worst of everything until it finally passes. You might cry daily. Or sleep. Or isolate and want to hide and be alone in your feelings. Which sometimes makes it worse.
But what I cannot stand.
Is those “I need positive friends” all the time people.
People aren’t positive ALL the time. If they are, trust me, when I say they are masking their pain.
Sure, having a positive outlook on life can help. But people aren’t meant to be happy and positive all the time. Life is all about karmic lessons and challenges that throw you off your game.
I’ll say it again.
People who are showing positivity ALL the time are masking it. They’re putting on a show. Some people are just more open and honest about their feelings. And that was never a problem for me before.
But when you hit rock bottom – you find out quickly who your friends are. And those people that stick by you, will surprise you most. I also find that this is a good time to make a clean sweep and start over. Make room for new friendships and connections to form.
Dropping someone as a friend when they are at their worst or in a serious depression, is more about them than you.
It’s not normal to be positive ALL the fucking time. And while I don’t see myself as a “negative nilly” all the time – I’m not the type to sugar coat my moods or hide my true feelings about something.
So. This phase of my life is more about finding friends that are similar to me and real.
Because let’s be real.
You can’t just shut depression on and off light a light bulb.
You can’t just shut feelings on and off. Well, some people can but I’m not one of them. I feel everything and strongly.
When one door closes it – use that fucking door to let someone new in who will appreciate you for ALL of you and the lessons they could learn from you.
For me, I’m grateful for the new friends I’ve made in recent months. They have shown me what support really looks like. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
People are temporary. Feelings are temporary. It’s those that stand by you during your lowest times – those are the connections and people that you treasure.
Anxiety and depression doesn’t just “Shut off” at will. And those who don’t live with anxiety, just don’t get it. Find people that “get” you.
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