Tonight I was feeling restless and suffering a bit of writer’s block when it came to my book. I’ve gotten about 90 pages in and sometimes I feel like my writing just isn’t good enough. Then I get “stuck” in negative thought patterns.
So, I took a break from editing and went to my music room slash office. There, I collected items needed for a meditative ritual and worked on a list of intentions to help break through this vicious cycle.
During the meditative portion, I felt something I’ve never felt before. I’m a sensitive type of person and can sense other energies around me. While I don’t necessarily “see” things, I do sometimes see shadows move at night or out of the corner of my eyes. Save for the two times I saw the Shadow Man during sleep paralysis. Scariest experience ever.
Sometimes at night, I get uncomfortable feelings like something is around me, watching or stalking me. It doesn’t feel threatening or scary. It’s more – intense. Really intense. So, I ask it to leave and it usually does.
This time – the energy around me was intense. To the point that my breath quickened and I really can’t explain it. But at one point, I just started chanting my intentions, grabbed my desk to hold on, and then it was over as fast as it began.
But the intense part was feeling like something was touching my back and then my neck. It wasn’t a negative sensation. Instead, it felt warm and comforting. Like something was letting me know they had heard my wishes.
Today was also the 9th anniversary of my mother’s death so… I mean. It’s possible. But I like to think she’s a peace now wherever she is, having tea with my granny and granddad.
The energy left me as quickly as it came – and now I’m feeling restless again. I’ve always meditated over the years but the energies are getting stronger as I work more with intentions and rituals.
I don’t know what it was. There are lots of theories out there on what it could be. But I wish the feeling had lasted longer. And I think perhaps, the worst is over. And my spark is start to shine once again.