Category Archives: spiritual

Pagan Celebrations: February 01-02: Imbolc (Candlemas)

On February 01 to sundown on February 02, Pagans celebrate what is known as Imbolc or Candlemas. Imbolc, which is based on Celtic traditions, was used as a marker of the halfway point between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox.

This holiday isn’t just limited to Pagans, it is also widely appreciated by Wiccans, Witches and other spiritual folk around the world. More commonly so in European countries.

For many, they honor the longer days. Gone are the short days of winter. The sun arrives a little earlier in the morning and tends to last a little longer too. Here in Alberta, it’s no longer dark at 5 pm which is a nice change.


Imbolc Origins

There are many legends of what are thought to be the origins of Imbolc. The Celts of Britain and Ireland honor Pagan Goddess Brigid, who was one of the most powerful of Gods. She had two sisters of the same name, though some speculate that the three sisters symbolize different aspects of Brigid.

There are myths about Brigid as well. Some say that she was born with a flame in hand and drank the milk of a mystical cow from the astral world.

Keening is associated with Brigid which is traditional wailing that is practiced at Irish and Scottish funerals.


Imbolc Traditions

Imbolc begins on Feb 01 and ends at sundown on Feb 02. People worshipped and showed devotion to Brigid by decorating their homes with a hand crafted effigy using oats and rushes which was then placed in a dress and basket overnight. Burning lamps, candles and/or bonfires were also used for tributes to Brigid.

In modern times, Imbolc is pretty low key. I know in the Lutheran Churches, they celebrate what is known as Candlemas. Some Wiccans opt to celebrate at a later date when weather is more appropriate.

Modern day rituals might include a bonfire to celebrate Brigid, or fire rituals. If you don’t have access to a bonfire, you may wish to light candles instead.

February 02 is also known as Groundhog Day which if you’ve seen the movie with Bill Murray, you know what it means.


Imbolc Intentions

The word Imbolc is defined as a new stirring of life or as I say often, a new beginning. Goddess Brigid is known for fertility, guardian of home and hearth, and fire.

Since Imbolc marks the halfway point between Winter and Spring, this may be a good time to work an indoor garden or plant herbs. Some herbs that grow well indoors include sage, mint, chives, and my favorite, spring onions.

If you are trying to become pregnant, Goddess Brigid is associated with fertility and Imbolc would be the perfect time to be intimate with your partner.

Image credit: https://images.theabcdn.com/i/38882996/600×600/c


Other ideas for Imbolc

  • Spring cleaning, decluttering, reorganizing home
  • Do a Tarot or Rune reading, or have someone do one for you
  • Get crafty and work with organic items like wheat, or wood, parchment paper, wool or anything you can get your hands on.
  • Start a new project or revisit something you’ve been working on
  • Cook a light dinner that involves breads, cheese, fruit and vegetables
  • Plan some intimacy with your partner – Frigid can bring fertility if you’re trying to have a baby.

Candles, herbs and other tools

  • Flowers or herbs: Chamomile, Lavender, Snowdrop, Iris, Heather
  • Herbs: Bay, Angelica, Vanilla, Basil, Rosemary
  • Herbal tea: Chamomile, Rosemary, Lavender
  • Essential oils: Lavender, Rose
  • Incense: Lavender, Rose, Vanilla
  • Crystals: Amethyst, Onyx, Turquoise
  • Foods: Bread, Cake, White Meats (chicken ,pork), Seeds
  • Candles: green, pink or yellow and rub with oil

Prayer for Imbolc

I wrote this on a whim today after watching another witch on YouTube. I love this idea and I think I will do this for every Sabbat that comes up.

Blessed be!

Thank you for reading. What are your plans for Imbolc? Make sure to check my “Spiritual” page for more Sabbat ideas & rituals.


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Correction: Imbolc is on Wednesday. This post was scheduled, and listed a day early.

I did not expect to cry over this video message

Jonna Jinton is an artist and content creator from northern Sweden. I first discovered her when searching for videos about my “home country” – Denmark. The beauty in her videos is what turned me into a fan. She’s also a musician and a bit of a humanitarian and has won awards.

I did NOT expect to cry over this video message. If you have an hour and need some uplifting messages today…. watch this please. She collected videos from people around the globe and just wow. She received thousands of videos from her fans which now reach over 4 million.

“You have a reason to be here”

“The true religion is kindness. Let’s just be kind to each other.”

Trust me. It’s worth a watch.

And trust me – you will need tissues. I am bawling over this.


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What is Shadow Work and why is it necessary for trauma?

Shadow work is working with your unconscious mind to uncover parts of yourself that you may have repressed or hide from yourself. This could include past traumas, hurts, or negative aspects of the shadow self, that we all possess.


What is our shadow self?

Our shadow self is thought to be the parts of ourselves that make us undesirable to others. Or parts of ourselves that hold us back from success or happiness. Our shadows can represent things like anger, sadness or depression, anxiety, self-doubt or self-loathing. It can have an impact on your overall well-being and cause blockages with your spiritual beliefs and practices.

Giving in for far too long to our shadow self, can result in struggling in relationships or connections in general. When you suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, it can really make it hard to sustain relationships with others who seem more positive or can shrug off challenges more easily. I am not one of those people.

This was the first time I really dived into shadow work, and it was a draining and exhausting process. It was also lonely as hell. But it’s something I will work continue to work on to help heal.


How to recognize your shadow self

A good way to test yourself, is to gauge how you interact and react towards others. How do you respond when people become aggressive towards you? What about those who do not respect your boundaries?

Are you firm in telling them to stop? Are you firm in sticking to your core values and principles? Or are you the type of person who avoids conflict or difficult situations and tend to ignore your selfcare because you are a people pleaser?

There’s nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, as long as you don’t dismiss your own values in the process.


Consequences of shadow work

When you do shadow work, you get a better sense of what those core values in relationships might look like for you. This can change your entire outlook on current connections in your life. You might lose friends or even your primary relationships.

People who aren’t ready to face their trauma or do shadow work themselves, will often revolt or shy away from those that do.

Shadow work can also reveal trauma you may have suppressed for years and this can open a flood gate of feelings you aren’t prepared for. I do suggest working with trained professionals in counseling or therapy. Or find a support group that you can trust.

You may find yourself becoming emotional for no reason even on those good days. Crying is a big part of it. You may also find you want to sleep more. Pain might surface. Same with tension headaches. If you struggle with any of these new symptoms, please check in with your primary care provider.

Your intuition will peak during this process. You will notice toxic behaviors more and people that you considered to be close friends, will not look the same.

You will go through it. The stages of grief are real. I’m kind of in between I’m ready to let it all go, I’m mad at the world, and I just want to have fun again.

Thankfully, the crying myself to sleep daily has stopped.


Setting intentions with shadow work

One of your intentions with shadow work might be to help heal from trauma or hurt that triggered something from the past. For me, it was an abrupt ending to a relationship. Being made to feel like I was a terrible person when in reality, I wasn’t. Unresolved conflict led me to an anxiety spiral and a serious depressive episode. This led to being ghosted.

This experience brought out a lot of insecurities and resentment from past partners. It also triggered my abandonment anxiety and I went into a bad spiral.

Intentions can be anything you want to work on. I find bullet journaling, writing here in this block and working with Tarot cards really helps to pick things I should focus on. Ideas will often come to me while meditating or working on crafts as well.

You can read more about intention setting here.


Lessons learned during my shadow work

  • Make sure you have clear intentions and an outcome for your work.
  • You will need breaks in between to remember the good things in life.
  • Give yourself a deadline for the hardest parts.
  • Surround yourself with people who are on similar paths that you can learn from. Be wary of those who are “leaders” and stick to ones you get good vibes from. Trust your intuition.
  • Your intuition will peak during this process.
  • You will feel things you’ve never felt before and these can manifest into physical symptoms.
  • You will want to isolate yourself. That’s fine. But don’t isolate too long. You will need friends to help you.

Most importantly: you will lose people. Those who are false friends will reveal their masks once you start taking care of you. It will hurt you more. But you are better off without these people. This will open new doors for new people to come in.

You will discover who your real friends are. The ones who are happy with you as you are and accept you fully despite your faults.


It’s a lifelong healing process

Shadow work can be rewarding and can speed up your healing process from recent hurts. That said, the more trauma you unpack, the more you connect it to your early memories. This can be a lifelong process and you may have to relearn coping mechanism along the way.

The point of shadow work isn’t to stay in the darkness forever. The point of it is to learn to let go of that darkness that hides your shine. You WILL find your inner light again. You will get your spark back.

You just have to keep working at it.


Also, this song came on while I was writing this and I thought I’d share the video. It’s fitting.

Discussion Prompt

Have you ever done shadow work? If so, what were your biggest lessons? What methods worked for you? Did you have a support group? Let me know in the comments.


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A brief glimpse into my spiritual practices (part 1)

I don’t know if I’ve covered this yet in this blog as a post, but I thought I would share some information about my current spiritual path and why I practice the way I do.

Over the years as I became obsessed with shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed and then Supernatural – Witchcraft and Wicca seemed to call out to me. I studied both practices and also worked with Animism (Shamanism) and attended local drumming circles.

I went through a sort of spiritual awakening in the past two months and I’ve never felt more “alive” in the spiritual sense. I feel at peace and learning more and more every day.

The Karmic Law

My main belief being: karma will find its way back to you. What you send out to the universe, will come back to you. And so, I try and live a good life. But I often attract people that will test this faith.

It’s similar to the whole “do unto others” that you see in Christianity. There is some truth to it, at least that I’ve experienced personally. Some people are meant to teach you karmic lessons. While others will help you grow.


Shamanism and Animism

There’s a lot of controversary in some circles about sticking to your own heritage instead of adopting Indigenous beliefs. But I digress. Shamanism is one of the oldest forms of religions and is practiced worldwide. No one owns it. So, if you want to practice Shamanism, go for it. I’m a firm believer in individualism and you are free to do what feels right for you.

The main principle of Shamanism is that there is one Creator – one source for the divine. Mother Earth. It is working with natural elements, the moon and the sun. It’s about using natural healing methods. And dream work or astral travel. Something I’ve done a lot of. Animals are a big part of Shamanism and I’ll touch on that in a later post.

Animism refers to the attribution of a soul to living things and inanimate objects. Or the belief in supernatural power that animates the material universe. It is believed that objects can posses souls.

An example of this is in Thailand where they believe that dolls can inherit a soul and become real. Animals are also considered spiritual beings and can act as spirit guides or harbingers of news or communication.


Green Witchery

This is a new term for me and it’s something I can strongly identify with me. In very simplistic terms, being a Green Witch means being connected with nature and using natural elements.

Many Green Witches work with dried herbs or have home gardens where they grow their own plants and herbs. They may work in the kitchen and apply this to their daily meals or beverages like tea.

It’s also about connecting what is available in your vicinity. Many Green Witches choose to live in isolated or rural areas where they have access to natural bodies of water or are surrounded by beautiful scenery. They make their owns potions, oils, candles and are very crafty with organic materials.

For me, I love this simple way of life. I wish I lived in a rural area where I had better access to flowers and gardens. And where it isn’t winter six months of the year!

To learn more, subscribe to The Green Witch on YouTube. She’s wonderful.


Norse and Celtic Paganism

The practice of Paganism isn’t a new concept to me, however, celebrating Norse and Celtic Paganism is. After learning the controversy about adopting Indigenous beliefs when you aren’t Indigenous, I did a lot of soul searching and started learning about my own heritage.

My background is a bit of a mixed bag. I have a strong Danish background, with some Irish, English and like 2% German. Because the Danish genes are so pertinent, I’ve always felt strong ties to the Nordic ways and more recently – the history of the Vikings. Yes, I like the thought of pillaging a little too much.

Paganism predates modern Christianity and was commonly practiced in European countries. The main differences being that in Paganism, more than one deity is worshipped. There is a long list of Gods, Goddesses and Deities that you can choose from and work with.

For Nordic Paganism, Odin is the main God, while there are others like Thor, Frigg, Heimdall, Tyr. And coming up next week is Imbolc, where the Goddess Brigid is celebrated. I’ll write more on that later.

In Paganism, there are 7 festivals that are honored along with other celebrations to mark certain events during the year. Christmas for example, was adapted from Yule which is celebrated on winter solstice – December 21st. Samhain, also Halloween, is celebrated on October 31 and so on.

Next week is Imbolc, and I will be sharing a post on what Imbolc is and how it is celebrated around the globe. I will also create separate posts to describe in more details what each of these religions or practices detail. But – these are often life long lessons and take years to master.

I’m also working on a list of reference books too that I will share via Good Reads when I get a chance.


Celtic Roots

In addition to Nordic Paganism, I have always felt a strong connection to my Irish or Celtic roots. Something about Celtic music just transports me to a different timeline. Artists like Loreena McKennit, produce music so magical that you’ll feel as though you’re in a dream when listening.


In Summary

My beliefs and spiritual practices are constantly evolving. I love to learn and platforms like YouTube are a good place to start. Just take what you learn with a grain of salt, and do your own research.

You may need to try a few things before settling on what you really connect with. Connection is probably the most important aspect of spirituality. Follow your heart and what brings you most joy. It does help overall with healing.

Read, read, read. And read some more.

That’s the best piece of advice I can give for when you are doing shadow work or trying to find what works for you. You’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. And you may change your beliefs as new experiences and revelations come into your life. And that’s okay.

And lastly.

Thanks for reading.

Blessed Be.


Related Posts

Check out my “spiritual” page for a list of Sabbats, celebrations and other important dates. Look out for future articles that will be posted here.


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Spirit guides are around us always

Tonight I was feeling restless and suffering a bit of writer’s block when it came to my book. I’ve gotten about 90 pages in and sometimes I feel like my writing just isn’t good enough. Then I get “stuck” in negative thought patterns.

So, I took a break from editing and went to my music room slash office. There, I collected items needed for a meditative ritual and worked on a list of intentions to help break through this vicious cycle.

During the meditative portion, I felt something I’ve never felt before. I’m a sensitive type of person and can sense other energies around me. While I don’t necessarily “see” things, I do sometimes see shadows move at night or out of the corner of my eyes. Save for the two times I saw the Shadow Man during sleep paralysis. Scariest experience ever.

Sometimes at night, I get uncomfortable feelings like something is around me, watching or stalking me. It doesn’t feel threatening or scary. It’s more – intense. Really intense. So, I ask it to leave and it usually does.

This time – the energy around me was intense. To the point that my breath quickened and I really can’t explain it. But at one point, I just started chanting my intentions, grabbed my desk to hold on, and then it was over as fast as it began.

But the intense part was feeling like something was touching my back and then my neck. It wasn’t a negative sensation. Instead, it felt warm and comforting. Like something was letting me know they had heard my wishes.

Today was also the 9th anniversary of my mother’s death so… I mean. It’s possible. But I like to think she’s a peace now wherever she is, having tea with my granny and granddad.

The energy left me as quickly as it came – and now I’m feeling restless again. I’ve always meditated over the years but the energies are getting stronger as I work more with intentions and rituals.

I don’t know what it was. There are lots of theories out there on what it could be. But I wish the feeling had lasted longer. And I think perhaps, the worst is over. And my spark is start to shine once again.

Have you ever had an experience like this during yoga or meditation? What did it feel like to you? What are your theories on what it might be?


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Saying goodbye to a community I once loved (kink edition)

It’s Saturday afternoon and I slept in late today, sipping my first cup of coffee for the day and watching witchy videos on YouTube. This is my happy place. This is how I start off most of my days.

It’s been a while since I did an update post and I thought it was about time. Things have changed. Heck, I have changed – I’m not the same person I was last year, let alone six weeks ago.

Having two relationships that meant a lot to me end around the same time after exploring the poly-am world (multiple partners who were aware of each other), it forced me to take a step back from dating and kink in general. I needed to heal and learn to let go of things that were no longer working for me.

Unfortunately in this process, I noticed that some of my friends were starting to distance themselves from me. Some things I’ve heard recently: “you need to move on, get out there and date” or from others, “positive vibes only.” It seems like if you don’t heal within a specific timeline, you aren’t a stable person to be around.

Depression and anxiety isn’t something you can just shut off and hearing these comments hurt. I realized that the common denominator here was that I was just with the wrong people. Other than kink, we had nothing in common.

While I realize, that I made some mistakes – and could have handled things differently, telling someone they need to “get over it” – isn’t cool either. People need to heal in their own time, in their own way.

And I realized a few things.

Writing out all my thoughts or struggles for all to see in a journal entry – not a good move. People talk. People blocked. And some people refuse to have anything to do with me. Which makes me question their motives even more. Writing is something I’ve ALWAYS done on that site. It’s how most of them MET me. And now it’s a problem? It wasn’t a problem before with other relationships. Hell, they encouraged me to write about those relationships. So, that’s why I’m focusing on my books and this blog. Pouring out my frustration here in the form of spreading information about healing and spiritual vibes.

And so, I realized – the problem was me and the community as a whole. I realized there are way too many rules and expectations that people have of you. People often tend to mirror you and put on a false charade early on. But once you see and recognize patterns, you can’t unsee them. And even pillars of the community, you find out are nothing more than predators. And all the things you were warned of early on – turns out – were actually the GOOD people that I should have gone with initially.

People often cry: “you crossed a boundary” when you really didn’t. Or you didn’t know there WAS a boundary to cross. The responsibility falls on both parties. Boundaries must be clearly communicated. And if they are crossed, then the appropriate thing to do is tell that person. Don’t shy around it. Just tell them.

How can they right a wrong, they didn’t know they committed? So, I call bullshit on that. “Boundaries” is feeling more like a buzzword in that community and thrown around too much. While boundaries are healthy, people should be able to talk freely about them.

Things I learned:

Some things I learned recently, that I wish I could unlearn. But now having seen patterns, I know better. This is the same in many smaller communities.

  • Predators are in leadership roles and they will groom newcomers to the scene. They will try and play with you. And once they are finished or problems arise, you are easily discarded and replaced.
  • People will play with as many people as they want to. They won’t bother to inform you of when they add new play partners to the mix because you aren’t “committed” to them. And they will talk about you to other play partners, but expect you not to talk about them.
  • There is so much secrecy around who is playing with who. You are discouraged from approaching other partners or even attending the same events. And forget being listed on their profile as a primary partner. You won’t ever be.
  • Once you spot the patterns of an abuser or predator — you can’t UNSEE them. You try and warn the next person? You get ousted as being the problem person, trying to stir up drama.
  • Don’t ever go through depression or a bad spell. People will drop you if your healing doesn’t happen within their timeline.
  • Don’t sacrifice your boundaries because you are a people pleaser or natural submissive. Fuck that. Fuck them. Stick to your boundaries. Look after you – because NO one will.
  • You WILL be branded as a trouble maker or problem person because you refuse to conform to their rules or cultish ways. I am no longer their vessel for them to use and abuse. And that pisses them off the most.

These are not just things I’ve learned for myself – but through observations in general. Talking to friends and hearing about their experiences. Having friends call me and cry to me on the phone about being treated like crap by their play partners. And yet…you speak up about it, or try and talk about the abusive situations, and you’re told NOT to write anymore.

Just writing this could land me in hot water, but I no longer care. I’ll make my own groups. Stick with my own friends. Play long-distance if I have to. The community has far too many predators and I speak from experience as someone who was physically assaulted by more than one over the years.

So, that’s where I am this Saturday. Single. Finally in a good head space. Feeling STRONGER than ever. And doing my own damned thing and starting to thrive and shine.

The thing they don’t tell you:

The ones who really love you for who you are will stand by you, no matter what you go through. Those are the friends you hold dear. They don’t enforce timelines. They don’t gaslight you. They don’t manipulate you. And they certainly, don’t use you. And you will lose them (the players), as you start to heal yourself.

NEW MOON: January 21, 2023, Manifestations, New Beginnings

This coming Saturday, marks the first new moon of 2023 and for some spiritual folk, it’s a significant one. I’m newer to the study of Moonology but sky-watching has always been something I love and done since I was a kid. It’s also one of the reasons I love my balcony in summer months.

New Moon: New Beginnings

Because it’s early in the year, now is a great time to work on self-reflection and introspect. Shadow Work is something I’ve done a lot of this past month, and it’s really been an eye-opening experience. It made me re-evaluate what’s important to me at this time, and the things I need to focus on for healing and letting go of trauma. I also realized that some things in life weren’t worth the struggle, while other relationships and things are.

The new moon represents the start of a new month. A new cycle. New beginnings. It’s a time where you can work on letting go of the past, things that no longer serve you well – and remind yourself of what it is, that brings you most joy.


Setting Intentions

I’ve already touched on the subject of setting intentions for yourself rather than resolutions and mindfulness techniques that can help with staying focused.

During the new moon phase, you could make a list of things you want to focus on to help improve the quality of your life or relationships. You can start new projects and make a timeline so that you can see them to completion. Or perhaps this moon will help you pause and reflect on what you’ve learned over the last few years and what you can improve on for future events in your life.

Focus on positive things that bring you joy and gratitude

In an attempt to focus on positive changes, and practicing spirituality and gratitude in my daily life, I’ve noticed some really interesting changes. My main focuses are: health, sleep, reducing anxiety and writing as much as I can.

I’m also letting go of hurts and relationships that no longer serve me well. And learning to work with those who I can learn from, and hopefully help them on their journeys too. I’m trying to be a better friend. Depression has made this tough – but things are getting better.

For this new moon, I’m going to focus on journaling my intent for February. I might also include a ritual bath like the Anxiety Healing bath.


IDEAS FOR NEW MOON ENERGY

  • Bullet journaling: make a list of intentions for the month ahead
  • Crystal work: place your crystals in the window at night to charge under the light of the new moon, or outside if you have a safe space to do so. I love crystals – because they’re nice to touch and pretty to look at.
  • Divination: If you’re into Tarot, do a general reading to help you choose what your next course of action might be.
  • De-cluttering – maybe a goal could be decluttering your home or office or ritual space – I know I need to do this soon.
  • Manifestations: make a list of things you want to attract in your life – new love? new friends? new job?

NEW MOON RITUAL BATH


New Moon Intentions (for me)

The following is a list of things I want to achieve this month. These goals are for me and me only. You’re welcome to use them as inspiration for your own goal setting. My main concern – is the lack of ability to stick to something and see it through. I really want to be able to focus on one thing and actually get it done. That’s more of a feeling of accomplishment.

That meant, giving up some other things that I came to really love. Like my involvement in the kink scene. But it turns out, the involvement there is really bad for my anxiety. The relationships are hard. And I’m better off doing my own thing, and making my own rules as I go.

  1. Finish the first draft of my book – I’m already 89 pages in and it feels good. I’m rewriting the entire series. This is just a hobby, and makes it feel like I’m accomplishing something.
  2. Work on story ideas for other books and work on this blog daily, posting relevant articles that not only helps others but also brings me joy. Books will be free for now.
  3. Create art or images for this blog and to share with friends. It’s therapeutic.
  4. Focusing on the positive – keeping in mind I don’t always have to be positive or put on a mask.
  5. Focus on sleep, exercise daily and get outside. It’s almost time for my daily break for stretches and vitamin D.
  6. Keep in touch with new friends and be a good friend to them. I’m a good listener when given the chance to go do so.
  7. See my dad weekly. I’ve been slipping and need to do better. See friends monthly. That’s all I can offer now.
  8. Meditate more and continue to manage anxiety.

Are you a fan of Moonology? If so, what is your favorite moon to work with? Stay tuned for monthly tips on Full Moon meditations & monthly rituals.


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Related Posts (coming soon)

Anxiety Healing Bath: Rose & lavender

The other night I had one of the most amazing and relaxing baths that I’ve ever had. I’ll be honest – the bathrooms and tubs in this place were the main selling point when I moved to this condo in the spring of 2021. I loved how quiet the building is, my balcony but really – it was the tub.

My last condo where I lived for six years had issues with mice and I could never really relax – especially towards the end. The walls were thin and I could hear everything. I still have flashbacks to the mice in the bedroom in the last month. Oof. I don’t want to be in that position again.

When I started dating again this spring, I started having weekly baths and then it was almost every other night. Then I stopped doing that when I stopped dating, opting for showers instead. But the thing is, baths can feel so good for so many reasons.

The pros of having a warm bath:

  • Soothes chronic joint pain or sore muscles after a hard day
  • The right products can help with improving your skin
  • Can help quiet the mind and reduce sleep
  • Can help with sleep issues or insomnia

Disclaimer: if you have skin that dries out easily, you may want to opt for warm water instead of hot. You may also want to research what products are better for sensitive skin. Hard water can also dry out the skin, so if you own your own home – get your water checked.


Rose & Lavender Healing Bath

For Christmas, I gifted myself a set of dried herbs and candles that I’ve used a few times. I also picked up some essential oils and can’t wait to use them in future baths.

There are several methods you can use to prepare this bath. If you have sensitive skin, you may want to use a cloth tea bag for the dried herbs. It can help to prevent clogged drains as well. I used just a pinch of rose petals for this bath.

Make sure to practice fire safety when using candles. If you have a shower curtain, move them out of the way completely. And don’t let the candle burn for more than an hour or so.

Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

Preparation and Ingredients

  • Epsom salt bathing foam
  • About 1 tablespoon of pink Himalayan salt
  • A few drops of lavender oil
  • Optional: dried rose petals, sprinkled on top of bubbles
  • Optional: lavender incense or
  • Candle: pink or red

There really is no right or wrong way to run a bath for yourself. I typically add the water first and then a few drops of foaming bath, essential oil, and the petals last. Another option is to brew tea (chamomile for instance) and add the brewed tea to the hot water. I can’t have a bath now without candles. It just sets the mood. I have a few playlists too that I listen for added ambiance and will share those later with you.


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The thing about shadow work they don’t tell you

For the past month or so, I’ve mostly kept to myself. Focusing on healing and shadow work. Trying to let go of outdated patterns that no longer serve me well. Also, trying to move on from this depression.

But the more time that goes on, while I feel less hurt, and I’m not crying on a daily basis – it still stings.

Shadow work can be draining in itself. When you’re forced to face your trauma head on, especially if it’s the reason for a relationship ended or failing – you’re also forced to look inside yourself to figure out why these relationships fail.

In asking for space and time to heal, I lost some friends that I used to talk to often. I think that’s the hardest part of a breakup, especially when you see your ex’s out in the same community. It’s one of the reasons why I left the alt community in the first place. Too many ex’s and everyone seemed to play or hook up with each other. To the point where it gets “icky” for me to think about.

Something I have learned recently, is that when you do the work on yourself to heal and grow – and you share your experiences – it can scare friends away. And not for the reasons you would think.

I think in some cases, maybe those people aren’t ready to face their inner demons or work on their trauma. Yes, they acknowledge they have issues, and pain, but they continue to move through life without doing anything to help overcome it. And trust me when I say, there comes a point where you recognize your patterns can be hurtful, and you want to make changes. Well, maybe not for everyone.

There are some people that have stood by me through this and are noticing the growth and changes I’ve made. I’m not writing daily – at least not on social media for friends to see. I’m more working on artwork, and getting back into editing and rewriting my book series. It’s distracting. In between sleeping and naps. I cannot seem to get enough sleep – another side effect of shadow work. It drains you.

I think the lesson here for me, and something my Tik-Tok feed keeps telling me is this:

People come and go into your life for reasons and seasons. Some are there to teach you karmic lessons. And others, will stay by your side, and support you on your journey, no matter what it looks like.

For me, I’m grateful for those friends I’ve had for years who have stuck by me. They’re the ones I can rely on. Some read this blog. They’re the people I can visit with, after months of not seeing each other, and we just pick up like no time has passed. Or we can sit in comfortable silence, watch a movie, or a concert and just enjoy each other’s company.

I’m really trying to let go of those people that don’t want to be in my life. But it’s hard when it’s a small community. There are some that I love dearly, and want to keep in touch with. Even though there is hurt there.

I wonder if part of the thing with shadow work – does healing and letting go of trauma, make you rethink those connections and friendships you thought were right for you? Were they really friends, or were they just hanging onto you for whatever reasons? Maybe you provided a service to them. Or maybe you made them feel good with attention.

Or maybe.

Part of healing is recognizing to see the bullshit that others put into the world. You catch on more easily to who the players are. You’re moving into a new phase of your life, where you’re just tired and don’t have the energy to put up with the crap.

You re-evaluate your core values and boundaries. And when you enforce those boundaries, you’re called an asshole and ungrateful. At least, that’s what I learned from family. And so, I just disengage. Remove myself from those conversations and people.

There’s a lot I’m feeling right now. And mostly, I want to be alone. I want to write. I want to share my thoughts and ideas. I want to heal. I want to let go of everything and that will happen eventually.

The resentment? Yes, it’s still there.

But deep down, I know I’m on the right path. That these lessons had to happen for a reason, so that I could start this healing journey and unlearn responses to trauma that are from generations of trauma.

So, if you feel like you need to do work – do the work. You don’t have to go it alone, sometimes it’s just better to. Just be careful when you get started.

You won’t look at people in your life the same way again.

And oddly enough. The one person I really want to talk to, is one that I left behind, because I was told he wasn’t good for my mental health. And yet, I miss our nightly chats and flirting the most.


How can shadow work be so therapeutic, rewarding, needed, and yet so fucking lonely at the same time?

When the stars align just right

On the night of the full moon, I completed a ritual and meditation to “let things go” – which means, letting go of recent hurts and the men that have come and gone into my life for whatever reasons.

Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways and I’m sitting here shaking my head over the events of the past few days. It gets to a point where you just go, “this can’t be a coincidence. It’s too weird,” so I need to trust in what is happening around me.

I had originally planned on having a bath with a bag of herbs that I mixed as an offering to the spirit guides. Instead, I changed my mind last minute and added essential oils, dried herbs and crystals to the bag. I meditated for quite a while and yada yada yada. The ritual was complete.

I actually got quite emotional during the meditation portion, so I think in a way, it worked.

I never know what to do with the bags after the ritual is done. So, I decided to bury it pretty deep into one of my flower pots outside.

Well, yesterday as I was sipping coffee, a massive magpie swooped over my balcony. It made me jump. Let’s say it got my attention. Then I saw a second one swoop over and I knew something was up. They’re destructive creatures.

Sure enough, the buggers had ripped apart the dirt and actually managed to pull out my “magic” bag and dumped it on the ground. It was either too heavy for them to carry or they decided they didn’t want it. Either way. There’s a mess I need to clean up now.

I messaged a witchy friend of mine and laughed about it. And she asked how many magpies there were. When I told her two –

“That’s a good sign! One magpie is an omen of bad luck. Two magpies are a sign of good things to come your way. Either in form of communication or a visit with a friend.”

And then she said, “You could just sweep off the dirt off your balcony and it would be symbolic in every way. In a way, they did try and get rid of the negativity by carrying the bag away.

Today, I was supposed to have a friend over but woke up with a brutal migraine again. I messaged him and his words. “I have to go Camrose, it’s the like universe is speaking to us.” Now, I don’t know if he’s saying that because he knows I’m into witchy stuff, but.

It’s been that kind of week.

I think I’m finally on the right healing path. And maybe that was the final sign I needed to keep moving in the right direction.

Also…my new Tarot decks have arrived and they are so pretty. If you’d like a reading, please let me know.


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