It’s Wednesday today and I thought I would take a break from articles and share some personal tidbits about my daily life. What it’s like being on disability and how I cope with having too much time and not enough to fill in the hours.
My mornings start by waking up anywhere between 7:30 am and 9:00 am. Sometimes I linger in bed and read or watch Tik-Tok. It depends on how bad the pain is in my knees, or how much sleep I got the night before.
Next, I make my coffee and breakfast. Lately, breakfast consists of two pieces of toast, some jam, and a piece of fruit. Sometimes I’ll make eggs for added protein.
While sipping coffee, I hop onto youtube and catch up on my subscribed videos. Today, I’m watching my favorite witchy channels about celebrating Imbolc. I’m currently watching The Cottage Fairy who also suffers from anxiety and is an introvert. These are the people that I’m drawn to. Her videos are calming and soup for the soul.
Then I spent some time responding to emails, and catch up with friends on social media sites. Sometimes this goes on for too long and before I know it – it’s almost noon.
Today, I’m getting lost in the YouTube algorithm of Fairytale cottages and dream homes. What I wouldn’t give to live in a rural place like this.
I’ll take a break, exercise, do my stretches, maybe sit outside if it’s a nice warm day. It’s been too cold and windy for this lately. Or I’ll do some tidying up in the kitchen. Today, I need to take out the garbage. Later, I’ll see my dad.
Every couple of weeks, I order in groceries and will spend an afternoon in the kitchen doing food prep and plan meals for the week. I’m trying to get better at using up all the food in my fridge before shopping again. I’m also trying to grow some of my own herbs. Because every penny counts.
Afternoons vary. Sometimes I’ll have a nap if I was up all night due to insomnia. Sometimes I’ll write or work on blog posts. Sometimes I’ll stream music and work on art. It really just depends on how I’m feeling.
My hands have lost dexterity, so I don’t work on crafts nearly as much as I’d like. Arthritis is often a crippling disease.
Evenings are sometimes the worst when you live alone. I used to entertain weekly or sometimes twice a week. It gave me motivation to keep my condo clean. It gave me something to look forward to. I’ll get to that again in the spring once I’m social again. For now, the isolation is needed.
I’ll do more reading in bed, or stream my favorite shows. Or watch movies. Or hop onto Discord and chat with new friends. Or twitter to chat with local friends. Sometimes I’ll order in dinner. Sometimes I’ll get the fireplace going.
Other times I have a very long bath which helps with the chronic pain and sore muscles. And every night, I try and get into my office and do a Tarot reading. Sometimes I’ll work on meditation and intentions. Sometimes I’ll write in my journal.
I’m looking forward to longer days. Where I can sit outside and read again. Or have a nap on the sofa. Or entertain friends for drinks. Or just go for walks again without worrying about ice.
I do what I can as pain allows for it. Pain rules my life but it doesn’t define my life. I do the best I can.
This blog — has kept me going through dark times. And now, I love the direction it’s heading in and the content I’m working on. I’m excited to share this new chapter of my life with you.
Thank you for being here with me.
If you’re on disability or medical retirement – what do you do to pass the time?
It’s Thursday. The last few days have flown by. I’ve had nothing but phone calls, emails to send, letters to write – and not even for good stuff. When you have chronic medical conditions, this has a huge impact on your overall quality of life. A lot of time is spent writing medical reports, sending faxes to doctors, making phone calls to medical offices, calling up your pharmacists and getting up to date information on medications.
It’s draining. Having a chronic medical condition is bad on its own, but having to do all the paperwork for treatments and benefits it almost a full time job. Especially when you have to continuously prove that you are ill.
The system is flawed. It’s not that I don’t want to work. It’s that there days where I feel good. And other days that just suck the life out of me.
And this migraine. I’ve had it for almost sixteen days now and counting. I’m basically shooting up $24 into my nose. This must be how coke addicts feel. To get rid of a migraine, it costs $24 CDN to shoot meds up my nose. It hurts. It’s unpleasant. I don’t recommend it. Maybe I’m glad I’m not a coke addict for that reason. But I’m guessing by that point, they don’t feel the pain much anymore.
Migraines suck the life right out of you. It makes it hard to focus on any one task.
I’ve spent the last two days sending out faxes and emails to introduce myself to new doctors who might accept me as a patient. It’s like online dating. It’s a lot of talking about yourself and making yourself sound good. But even that’s hard.
And so – here we are. So close to Christmas. But even with the tree it doesn’t feel like Christmas. It won’t be much of a Christmas as I sit here alone missing my family.
And so that’s where are on this self-pity kind of day. It’s a pity party for one. Anyone care to join me in self-wallowing and loathing?
Maybe it’s time to say migraine be damned. It’s time for a glass of rum and coke.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I suffer from a few chronic conditions – one of those conditions is chronic insomnia. Insomnia is something I’ve lived with for more than thirty years. There’s nothing worse than feeling tired and wanting to sleep – but not being able to sleep at all once you hit the sack.
In this article, I’ll share some tips I learned on living with insomnia and how you can rest better.
Before we get into how to treat chronic insomnia – let’s go over the basics of what it is.
What is insomnia?
Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that affects millions of people around the world each year. Your body may feel tired but the moment you lie down, you start to toss and turn. Your mind just won’t let you rest. Not getting enough sleep can severely impact your life – you might have mood swings, you might feel lethargic and move slowly during the day, or worse – you could seriously hurt yourself in an accident at work or while driving.
Insomnia can last for days. If you have chronic insomnia, it can last for weeks or even months. My longest spell with insomnia was over two months. I also had sleep paralysis during this time.
Symptoms of Insomnia
Feeling tired but not being able to sleep when you lie down
Feeling anxious or stressed out about daily life – and not getting enough sleep
Mood swings, depression, living in a state of confusion or “brain fog”
Waking up several times during the night or waking up too early and not feeling rested
If you wake up during the night and are unable to breathe or feel like you are choking – you may want to get tested for sleep apnea which is a condition that can cause weight gain and breathing problems.
Causes of insomnia
For me, insomnia comes and goes. Staying up too late or sleeping in one day or even having a nap can throw off my sleep schedule. Drinking caffeine too late in the day – coffee – can make it hard to sleep. Or working out too late in the evening might be the culprit. But the number one cause for my insomnia is – anxiety.
Stress or anxiety
Change in work schedule or traveling often for work
Poor sleeping habits and sleep hygiene
Eating too much late in the day or drinking coffee past a certain time
Hormonal shifts or conditions like menopause
Aging can cause you lose sleep as you get up to go to the bathroom more
My father used to sleep like a log until about five or six in the morning. When he started showing signs of Parkinsons, he started getting up three or four times during the night.
Some medications can cause insomnia like GERD, Parkinsons and Alzheimers, asthma, diabetes, cancer, restless leg syndrome or living with chronic pain.
Preventing insomnia
Take it from me, getting out of an insomnia funk can be difficult. My worst spell with insomnia happened in 2013-2014 when I fell ill. I went through all the tests you can imagine and everything was coming back normal. The moment I would lay down, my body would go into spasms or cramps and it prevented me from sleeping. The longest stretch that I went through was 100 hours without sleep – at all.
Finally, after getting five weeks of iron infusions to help with the cramping – I managed to grab some sleep. I had tried everything – even sleeping pills – and nothing was working. Things were so bad that I attended a sleep clinic before going back to work. Here are some things I learned on how to manage my insomnia.
Regular sleep schedule
This is crucial. Going to be around the same time and getting up in the morning around the same time is important to help naturally regulate your body and get your “internal clock” working again. I’m working on this now – I can’t seem to get up earlier than 9 am and going back to work is going to be such a shock. Avoiding naps is important too – I’ve managed to get through the day without a nap for several weeks now.
No caffeine past noon
If I drink coffee later in the day – than it may impact my sleep. I’ll have one or two cups of coffee in the morning and won’t drink it for the rest of the day. If I do get the caffeine craving later in the day, I’ll try and get a latte with skim milk. Or you could switch to decaf.
Regular exercise
Daily exercise helps me to sleep better at night time. The best sleep I ever had was after an aquafit class. Or after a steam massage with a salt scrub. My skin also felt amazing – I’m actually do for one any day now.
Sunshine and Vitamin D
Getting some sunshine and natural vitamin D not only will help with your mental health but it can also help improve your sleep. If you live in a place like Alberta where we have such short winter days, I recommend getting a SAD light or talking to your doctor about taking vitamin D supplements.
Because of my history, I take two vitamin D3 gummies in the morning. My condo has large windows that lets in a lot of natural light and it can feel like I’m outside. I know going for a long walk or a hike in the wilderness can help me rest well.
Meal Spacing
As many of you know, I practice intermittent fasting to help lose weight. While weight loss progress is slow going, eating between certain times can help you sleep at better at night. I now eat between 11:00 am and 8:00 pm at night. Sometimes it’s 12:00 and 8:00 or 11:00 and 7:00 pm. But never past 8:00 pm at night time. This way I am never going to bed on a full stomach.
Eating healthy foods and staying hydrated can also help!
Sleep hygiene
Practicing good sleep hygiene is an important part of sleep well. Some people take baths or showers at night to help unwind after a long work day. My nightly ritual is to listen to some relaxing music before bed. Wash my face and neck. Make sure the bed is neat and sheets are tucked in. If my room is messy – I have to pick up things off the floor or take them off the bed – or that distracts me from sleeping.
Brushing my teeth, brushing my hair and even what I wear can impact my sleep. Sometimes a fan or white noise can also help block out other noises that may be happening.
I love my blackout curtains as well. These really help in the summer time when the sun is out early in the morning – way earlier than I need to get up.
Meditation
Some people swear that meditation or yoga can help them sleep better. For me – I might listen to some Native American flute music or yoga music to help clear thoughts from my mind. Add in a cup of sleepy time tea and this can really help you catch some z’s. Check out my meditation page for some youtube suggestions.
No screen time!
Get off your computers and put your phone away for the night. Keep the phone on a nighttable and close the cover so you can’t see messages come in. If you need to, turn the phone on silent. Turn off notifications from social media sites that might otherwise keep you up.
If you’re using meditation music, lie down and close your eyes in your bed while listening to the music. Turn off all the lights and your phone.
If you’re a reader, you can try reading a book to help tire out your mind.
Therapy
If anxiety is affecting your sleep, you may want to consider therapy to get to the bottom of what’s causing your anxiety. Sometimes things are out of our control – as I’m learning – and you may need more help.
Talk to your doctor about medications that can help ease your anxiety or help you sleep. Melatonin is a natural supplement that can work to regulate your sleep schedule naturally. However, it doesn’t work for everyone. If you’ve tried Melatonin and all the remedies I suggested above – then you may need medical intervention to stop your insomnia.
I am seeing my doctor later today and will be asking for a little “help” for my insomnia. I don’t ask for medications often and she knows this. She may have some new ideas that can help me out. If she does, I’ll report back here.
There may be a medical condition that is causing you to toss and turn during the night – if so, then I highly recommend that you go for some labwork and routine tests with your doctor to rule things out.
Do you suffer from insomnia? What tricks have you learned to help you sleep at night time? Let me know in the comments!
Charmed Reflections 
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