Tag Archives: empathy

Spiritual empaths and natural empathy

The other day I came across a really good blog post by Dr. Perry. I followed him back in 2020 and other authors like him when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’ve had issues with anxiety all my life but my doctor never diagnosed me. It’s a shame really.

This article on Empathy really spoke to me in a lot of ways. You may have seen me refer to myself as an empath and that is very true. An empath is a person who is very sensitive who attuned to the spiritual world around them.

I suppose it’s one of many reasons that I am a homebody. Being around people can be exhausting at times especially if they give off negative or oppressive vibes. Some people wear their trauma on their sleeve and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but when you are an empath, you wear their feelings too. Without even realizing it sometimes.

Spiritual Empaths

Being an empath means having a heightened awareness of emotions and and feelings of other people. You can easily pick up energies around you and this rang true for me for most of my life.

A spiritual empath is someone that has a natural ability to feel empathy on a deep level. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone has the ability to be empathic or to feel empathy for others. But there are some people, like me, who are born with this gift.

Signs that you might be an empath

There are several indicators that can help you determine if you are a spiritual empath. Keep in mind, that spiritual empaths are different than those that can feel empathy. Spiritual empaths tend to feel things more strongly and pick up on energies that others cannot.

  • Feeling someone’s pain or trauma but not recognizing it as your own
  • Heightened sense of awareness about the people around you, the place you are in, or events that are about to happen
  • Inner intuition so strong, that it has saved you from getting into trouble or warned you about other people
  • Sensing the presence of “others” around you – that you can’t see with your own eyes

Picking up on energy around us

When I worked at a local college, registration day would always leave me with this burst of energy. It was like I was high on drugs – which I wasn’t. The school was full of excitement as new students came to register for their first day of classes.

Likewise, during exam time, I would come home with tension headaches or feel the stress that students faced during the day. And if a student had a meltdown, I felt that too.

Desire to help others

It’s what made me so good at that job. I had so many students come into the office begging to see counselors. If no one was around, which was often – I would help them with their resumes and finding jobs.

Sometimes I just listened to them and talked them through their feelings. It wasn’t my job. I definitely wasn’t paid to do that. But I couldn’t let them leave like that. I just couldn’t. So, I talked them down and booked them an appointment with the counsellors.

Years later, I had a former student deliver me a pizza. He was so happy to see me. “You helped me get this job!” he said to me. And then I handed him a $10 tip. “You changed my life!”

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had gone into career counselling. I feel like I missed my calling. It’s something I regret. But I got to befriend seniors through my volunteer work. So, there were a lot of lives I’ve made an impact on now that I look back over my years at the church as a musician.

Inner intuition

This is something I have written about before. Spiritual empaths have a deeper level of intuition that can either be a gift or curse at times. It feels like a stomach ache, cramp or a “bad feeling” when something is about to go very wrong.

The feeling can be about a place, a person, or an event that may happen later on. It’s like an internal warning system that goes off.

For me, I have this with some people. It served me well in the workplace until I became ill. I called it my “spidey” senses. I would get a feeling in my gut that I couldn’t trust a new person. And so, I kept my guard up around them.

Getting out of bad situations

Other times, I got the “punchy-gut” feeling when out in public with friends. I remember at one Canada Day celebration at the provincial building – things were getting a little rowdy and the crowd had grown too big for my liking. I got that punch-gut feeling in my stomach and looked up. I tugged on my friend’s arm and whispered, “we need to leave,” and sure enough – the police came out with batons, guns and shields.

We bolted out of there fast and an instant migraine hit. That sometimes hits too. Migraines from feeling too much tension of those around me. I could literally feel the tension inside of me.

Negative energies or “bad juju”

There have been times when I have felt a presence when entering a new building or home. Walking into the Notre Dame building in Montreal was like this for me. It was hot, stuffy, and had this really dark vibe. I can’t explain it well. I just felt this heavy and oppressive feeling when I sat down to watch a concert. I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being watched by something old. Really old.

I’ve had this feeling when walking into other places. A friend’s home had unusual activity and I got that feeling at night time. She said she felt like she was watched all the time. It depressed her and her health started being affected by it until she finally moved out of the house.

My old house had this feeling from time to time after my mum died. I’ve been in other places that felt oppressive. I call it “bad juju.” It’s a feeling that’s hard to shake.

It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You get goosebumps on your arms. A shiver runs down your spine. Fear creeps up slowly on you. Or maybe not fear but an uneasy feeling that leaves you almost sick.

Have you ever felt that, walking into a building or home? How do you describe that feeling?

Fantasy, Spirit, Nightmare, Dream

When feelings become too much

Sometimes being around people can be too much for me. I’ve played the piano at my fair share of funerals. I got to a point where the death of a friend hurt, but it didn’t devastate me like when I was younger. I’ve had more than my fair share of loss for one life time.

If I had to perform at the funeral, I learned to shut off my emotions and act like the professional musician that I was. I’m mostly retired now.

None hurt so much as when my mother died eight years ago. After she died, I felt her around me still. Her energy. Her spirit. And yes, before you tell me ghosts aren’t real – I believe in them. I’ve had too many spiritual experiences not to – in all the homes I’ve lived in.

When it comes to grief and funerals, I find I’m just drained after that. I haven’t had to play one in a long time. And when my health started to decline last year, I started turning funerals down, only accepting gigs where I knew the family.

I still grieve for all the friends and family I have lost. This is a constant struggle and one of the reasons I started this blog.

Selfcare for empaths

This is an important part of being an empath. You need to learn to take care of yourself. If that means shutting yourself off to the world for a few days, then do it. Let your friends know you’re having a difficult time and just need more downtime. They will understand.

Meditation, relaxation, hot baths, sleeping – are all great things to do for selfcare. Writing is my main form of therapy. I write probably 4000-5000 words daily. I’m starting to write books about my experiences.

Prayer can help, if you are the praying kind. Pray to whatever deity you have opened yourself up to. Ask for comfort from loved ones who have passed on. Having faith can be a wonderful thing – no matter what that faith is in.

Connect with others like yourself – but be careful about toxic energies and people. You need to cut contact with those people and keep it to a minimum. They will wear your soul down.

Fantasy, Walker, Sculpture, Monument

The eyes of a soul

Getting to know people for me is harder now. But when I was younger, all I had to do was look into someone’s eyes to know what kind of person they were.

If the eyes were cold or they gave me a blank stare – I knew that person was a lost cause. They were a danger to themselves or to others around them. I cut ties or distanced myself from them.

If a person greets you with a smile, and there is kindness in their eyes – that person truly cares for you. Those are the people you want to hold close and keep them in your life.

There’s that saying “he looks like an old soul” – that means their eyes are full of wisdom. If you see “old soul eyes” on a baby or toddler – they are more likely to grow up with spiritual abilities or a natural empath.

You might hear terms from authors like kind eyes, gentle eyes or a cold and unyielding stare. You can tell a lot from a person’s eyes.

Fantasy, Surreal, Eye, Time, Clock

Spiritual beliefs, the afterlife, loss, grief

When it comes to discussing taboo topics like aliens, ghosts and other supernatural entities, I have mostly kept my beliefs to myself. But I fear as my illness grows worse, and the pain becomes unbearable, that maybe my time on this earthly plane is running out. That could be part of the depression too. I’m grieving over the news from my geneticist.

I’ve been thinking more and more about what happens when we sleep at night. What happens to our soul or essence. That part that makes us who we are. I believe that when we die, our physical bodies die and we either bury them or opt for cremation. That’s my plan – it’s better for the environment.

I know that I travel a lot in my dreams. It’s inspired books that I’m working on and short stories. I’ve had visitations from loved ones in my dreams. Mostly, my mother, uncle and grandmother.

I believe that dreams are a doorway to the spirit realm. This is what the Indigenous Elders taught me over the years. There are beings like Shadow Walkers in Norse mythology and Native American culture that possess the ability to move between the spirit world and living world. They can visit us in our dreams. I’ve had one too many dream experiences to know that this could be true.

I’m obsessed with the paranormal and learning all I can about the mythology of spirits, demons, ghosts, whatever other names you have for these entities.

I’ve had people call me crazy. And yet, I’ve met many wonderful people who share the same beliefs and we have exchanged stories. I’ve followed some hospice care nurses on TikTok that all have similar stories of loved ones visiting their patients in their final days.

I believe in an afterlife. There has to be more than this world that we live in. This world is sometimes cruel and painful to live in. In dream form, everyone I meet is healthy. Even my mother is healthy and vibrant. Full of life.

And so, if you’re a non-believer that’s fine with me. But if you start calling me crazy, and tell me to get my brain scanned – you can just move along. It’s fine that we have a different belief system. But I’m going to use this blog to share more of my dream visitations and stories.

I welcome anyone with an open mind to follow this blog and share their paranormal or dream travels with me.

Thank you for reading.

Head over to my Spiritual Guidance section to learn more — it’s a work in progress.

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The problem with 2020, is we all lack empathy for each other.

After hearing that a gamer took his own life today I’ve been lost in thought for most of the day thinking about empathy. I apologize for writing three posts today – I might schedule one for the weekend. But this upset me – I mean, really upset me.

I’m not a “real” gamer – but I have enjoyed playing games over the years. I got tired of Mincraft after a month, but then I hopped onto youtube last year and started watching popular gamers like Markiplier and GrayStillPlays.

It turns out – I was gaming all wrong. I had no idea the different things you could do in Minecraft alone.

Watching these gamers, has become a bit of a morning ritual for me. As I drink my first cup of coffee and eat my breakfast, these are the youtubers I start off my day with.

And even though I didn’t watch Reckful’s channel – I’m not into a lot of the games he played – I know the gaming community is hurting right now.

One thing I love about Marikplier is that he supports his other friends who are gamers. They all get together and do multi-player game streams together.

Mark gets a lot of shade thrown at him. I think it’s jealousy a lot of times. People are jealous of those who are successful and doing what they love to do.

I’ve never laughed harder than when the gang was playing Uno and Wade got so mad he broke his hand for real. It reminded me of playing the Atari with my brother back in the day.

He would get SO MAD when he lost games that he’d smash the controller into the floor. I have no idea how many controllers he actually went through.

I saw the news of Reckful’s death trending on twitter. I hopped onto Youtube to see if I could learn more. A lot of videos had already surfaced in tribute of the legendary Twitch streamer.

The sad thing is – and I talk about this topic a lot in this blog – he just did an interview three months ago on how he handles his depression. I guess he posted some pretty emotional videos lately to his fans. He’s been receiving a lot of hate comments, tweets and DM’s.

But the killer of this is – HE TWEETED up until two hours before his death.

Twitch streamer Byron 'Reckful' Bernstein 'dead by suicide' at 31 ...

Some are speculating that it was pressure on social media that contributed to his mental state. And as a fellow youtuber – I can tell you – the amount of hate out there on social media is disgusting.

It’s actually the reason I write this blog anonymously now. And why I don’t appear on camera for music.

I’m lucky – most of the people that come to my youtube channel are there for the music. All 49 subscribers. I get the odd spammer but for the most part – it’s chill.

I try to engage with other youtubers often and leave comments and likes to let them know that, “Yes, I appreciate their content and thank them for their videos.”

It’s real – you know. The empathy you can feel for someone you’ve never met. But if you watch them on camera almost every day for a couple of years – you FEEL like you know them.

Sympathy vs Empathy

What is empathy? People often mix up empathy with the word sympathy. Sympathy is to feel sorry for someone else.

“I’m sorry your mother died” – this is expressing sympathy.

Sympathy can be felt when a relationship ends, when a loved one dies, or even when you lose your job or something you think of as important.


Empathy on the other hand, is when you feel what the other person is feeling. I think the term Empath stemmed from an old Star Trek episode and that’s what I often use to describe myself.

Emphatic people are often sensitive to other energies around them. When there’s excitement in the room, they feed off that excitement and almost get this high – like an endorphin rush. I’ve had this many times – like every registration day when I worked at NorQuest College.

When there was tension in the office, I’d pick up on that too. I’d get headaches or this tight feeling in my stomach. I always knew when something big was going to happen – or when we were going to get some bad news.

The whispered conversations. The meetings behind closed doors. Those are all signs that something is up.

Feeling what others feel

When it came to my relationships, I would often pick up on my partner’s feelings before they even knew what was wrong. If they were mad, I knew and would pester them for answers until they finally blew up at me.

Sometimes being an empath – is a blessing, while other times it can be a curse. But mostly, it’s a curse. It’s why I’m a homebody. Noisy bars, large parties – I hate going to these places so much. I’d rather be alone in the comfort of my own home.

Empathy and world events

In times of great sadness, like when a Tsunami hit Japan in 2003, I was working a short job at an Engineering firm (very short like six weeks). I remember walking into that office with my heart heavy and I didn’t know why. When I read the news later on, a light bulb went off. Thousands and thousands of people died. The earth was hurting that day.

And I could almost feel their pain in the air. I can’t explain how it feels. I just knew something heavy happened before I even knew it happened.

When 911 happened, I was glued to my television and couldn’t shake myself out of that awful feeling. Same thing happened again just before COVID hit – I knew something was changing. I could feel this coming on for weeks ahead of time.

I said to say to Wally often, “I don’t like this. Something feels wrong,” I said and he’d shake his head at me.

Empathy as a warning signal

Years ago, back in 2000 I think, I attended Canada Day festivities with some friends at the government building. The park was overcrowded and people were starting to get rowdy as they were waiting for the fireworks. It was hot, sweltering hot.

My head started pounding. Tony, a good friend, reached for my hand and started using the pressure points technique on my hand which relieved the pain for a little bit. But then I started getting that gnawing pit in my stomach.

I looked around nervously.

“Tony, where’s Lisa?” I said. He shook his head.

“What’s wrong? he asked me.

“We need to get out of here – NOW,” I said.

“Why? Are you getting – wait, what the fuck?” he said and looked up.

We both looked up towards the steps of the Legislature building and there was a SWAT team – dressed in full SWAT gear with batons.

“Get Lisa, we need to go,” I said.

Tony nodded, and we met up with all our friends a few minutes later at the parking lot. We made it out just in time. I don’t think anything bad really happened – but the SWAT team had started making their way through the crowd. We left and went back to Lisa’s place for a couple of drinks.

Some people might tell me that this was my intuition warning me that something was happening. It could have been – but I think it was a combination of being an empath too.

The world lacks empathy

I blame the advancement of artificial intelligence and advanced technology for our lack of empathy in this technology fueled world. People, including me, are glued to their devices. They spend so much time on their phones that they ignore the world around them – and people too.

I’ve noticed this even at family events. All the teenagers and young adults will sit around a table and they are all glued to their phones. It’s like they don’t even know how to communicate with each other.

The art of communication is going out the window at the same time.

The more detached we become as humans, turning more towards artificial intelligence, we risk losing that thing that makes us human – empathy.

It’s easy to hide behind a computer screen and lash out at people you don’t know because you’re using a fake account or troll account. It’s easy to call each other names – because you think your actions have no consequences.

But let me tell you – all actions have consequences.

And we saw it today – with Reckful. A beloved gamer in the gaming community who took his own life. It’s too early to know the reasons behind why he did it – I can only speculate that social media play a big part.

The Outrage Culture

I’m glad that I grew up in a social media free world. I spend more time on Twitter blocking people. We’ve lost the ability to “agree to disagree”. People lash out because of difference of opinions. The cancel culture tries to cancel something different every day. It’s getting to the point where we won’t have any nice things in the world because everything good has been cancelled.

People are erasing history, renaming streets, because they don’t like what the names represent. People are banning books, movies, television shows and lord knows what else.

And maybe that’s why I get so angry sometimes – because as an emphatic person, picking up on other people’s emotions – I feel all that anger too.

And it makes me sad – and it’s exhausting. It exhausts you after a while.

No longer do we live in a world where people are proven guilty in the court of law. Entire careers are destroyed because of something that happened or was said – on social media.

This isn’t a “2020 sucks” posts — this is much more than that

I don’t have any parting words of wisdom today as I write this. My heart is heavy and it is full. We lost Carl Reiner yesterday and that story hurt my heart. We’ve lost Reckful today, and my heart hurts – and I didn’t even know him. But I hurt for the gaming community.

I hurt for all the things going on in the world today. The things we’ve lost due to the cancel culture. The things we’re going to lose as people continue to erase history.

And I hurt – for losing the opportunity to learn from these things. Mistakes make us human. We learn from them. We grow from them. It’s part of what being human is.

So, I guess I’ll end this by saying – next time you type angrily on your keyboard or phone – take a minute. Step back. Re-think your words. Are they hurtful? Could they drive someone to hurt themselves? How can you express your feelings without insulting the other person or putting them down?

I’m all for keyboard warriors – but please, do it with kindness.

And this isn’t a “2020 sucks so far” – this is me – a fellow empath – who is hurting for all these reasons today. And I just want to let you know that I’ll do my best to make the world a better place.

Watch with caution – there is a lot of swearing which doesn’t bother me. But this may trigger some emotions for those who have been bullied.

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