Something has been bugging me lately about communication and I’m going to try an experiment over the next while.
Do you ever feel like you are always the one reaching out to certain people to keep conversations going? Like you’re the only one in certain relationships making all the effort?
Some friends reach out daily to me and I love them for it. I’m definitely not used to it. And I make every effort to respond to them, chat throughout the day and let them know if I’m having a bad day and not feeling up to chatting. But the girls can’t seem to go more than a few hours without saying something and it’s a lot of fun.
But it’s the men that I notice that I’m often the one reaches out. There are a couple of males friends that will send a message to check on me. And then a week or so will go by and we don’t talk at all. And that’s okay. There are no rules when it comes to friendship. I have lots of friends where we come and go after a few months or even a couple of years and just pick up like no time has passed.
My Minnesota man is pretty good at communication. Not long ago, I was keeping busy and he messaged me about 7 hours later and was like, “You’re being uncomfortably quiet today.” It made me laugh. Other times, we might not talk until later in the evening or after he’s done work. And that’s okay too.
For the next week or so, I’m conducting an experiment.
I’m going to see how many friends reach out to me first if I go radio silent for a few days. I’m pretty sure I know who will reach out. But it begs the question….
Are they really interested in me? Or do these guys just love the chase?
I guess I’ll find out.
Communication in all relationships is a two way street. If one person is doing all the reaching out – it gets tiresome. If that person stops reaching out then what? Does the friendship just stop all together?
I get we all have bad days and I don’t demand ANYONE to message me daily. I even told the Man that early on and he was the one who insisted on daily communication. And there hasn’t been a day we haven’t sent a few texts back and forth in six months.
So…tonight starts a 7 day streak of no contact.
Well. It’s not no contact. It’s just to see who is willing to reach out and reciprocate the energy given.
Two things I’ve learned recently.
I don’t chase. I attract. I refuse to chase anyone who isn’t interested in being with me. If for any reason, they lose interest – so be it. I’m not going to put any energy into that person.
Match the energy given to you. If your person starts to distance themselves from you, try and find out why. If they refuse to talk, then do your own thing.
Sometimes they come back. And sometimes, it’s just better to let go.
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