Tag Archives: hormones

I had a dream where I couldn’t remember where I lived.

Yesterday was an awful day with PCOS pains. I won’t gross you out with details. But I spent most of the day in bed and slept. That’s all you can do on those days. I have about one or two out of the entire month. I took a pain pill last night before bed and just woke up. The drugs certainly make you sleep more. But not only that – oh my – they produce wild dreams.

I just woke up from a dream that’s still fresh and vivid in my mind. I was in a new apartment – this isn’t the first dream like this. I’ve had nightmares where I’ve moved into slum apartments without doing research. I had one dream so often that I had convinced myself I had moved into an apartment and moved out and left all my furniture there. But I know that isn’t possible. I’ve only moved TWICE in the last twelve years.

In the dream, I was meeting up with a friend for dinner. I looked around my apartment which was empty. There was beige carpet on the floor. All the furniture I had in there was my old green couch from the 70’s, and a tv cabinet I had never seen before. What? I have way more furniture than that.

As I inspected the carpet, I could see that it wasn’t firmly in place and there were bulges that appeared to be moving as though some giant rat or other rodent was living under it. I ran out of the apartment screaming and found myself sitting on bench near an elevator in a mall.

My friend Louise walked by. She sat down on the floor. She was maybe drunk? I couldn’t tell. “Please just leave me alone, I need to just sit here for a minute and rest,” she said to me.

I shrugged my shoulders and left her alone while I looked through my purse for some identification. Or something with my address on it. I couldn’t remember my new address! I asked Louise is she knew but she was sleep already on the floor of a busy mall.

There was a purse sitting on the floor beside – a navy blue purse. Two women came up to us frantic, looking for a lost purse. One grabbed it. She was wearing a navy dress like my mom would have worn. She even had dark hair like my mom. “Oh thank god,” she said as they scampered away with the purse in hand.

I looked over at Louise who was still snoring like a baby on the dirty floor. I searched through all the texts on my phone – the old Android I had at my old apartment. I couldn’t find any mention of my new place.

I decided to hop in an Uber car and maybe a drive close to the area would jog my memory. I got up to say goodbye to Louise. She just muttered at me and said “leave me alone,” – not like her at all. When I came back to the bench – I thought I saw some envelopes I might have dropped. My hands were full of notebooks and other things I don’t remember having with me. My dreams are weird like that.

There was a pile of vanilla envelopes on the bench with red pen written all over them. I peaked at them.

“No shows” was scribbled all over one.

“Just okay” was scribbled all over another one. And other comments like, “passable” or “potential hire”. There was a large red binder with a name written on it that said, “actually walked out of the interview.”

I considered sticking around to find out who was doing the hiring and for what position. But it was getting late and the mall was closing. I looked over to say goodbye to Louise again – but she was gone. There was no sign of her. I shrugged my shoulders and headed to the elevator.

Next thing I know I’m in the back of an Uber. The Uber pulls up to 17th avenue – which is really far south instead of 117 street – which is an area I’m considering moving to in the spring if I can afford it.

I got out of the car and realized I was at some kind of Aboriginal lodge. There were buffalo and other animals all around me. The driver and I watched as this herd of sheep and baby cattle roared through the sandy road. I looked up at him as if to say, “Did that really just happen?”

I wish I could tell you what happened after that – but I woke up drenched in sweat and it was time to get out of bed. I slept in way past the normal get up time of 8:00 am. It’s almost time to take another pill. I think I’ve slept enough for the last two days. I don’t want to spend the entire day in bed!

Honestly, sometimes these dreams just leave me scratching my head. It felt so real. And now I’m wondering what the hell building I moved to – so I can avoid it?

How have your dreams been lately?

Happy Thursday. There’s a photography post coming your way shortly.


Women’s Health: Hot Flashes – what are they, and how to treat them

Since this week is all about promoting mental health, I think this is a good time to speak on some women’s health issues like my article yesterday on What is PCOS? Today, I want to touch on some of the symptoms of hormonal disorders like the dreaded subject: hot flashes.


What does a hot flash feel like?

That’s a good question. The first hot flash I had was in 2014 when I was on a combination of Cymbalta (mild anti-depressant for pain) along with Celebrex (also for pain). I remember getting a call from my case worker about my weekly check in. We spoke for about ten minutes. I had to provide regular health updates. By the time I hung up the phone, my hand was covered in sweat. I mean, it was dripping. And it was nasty.

One night, the hot flash was so bad – I went outside for a brisk walk in -35 degrees in a t-shirt. That actually felt good and refreshing. Even now when I get them – nothing helps except standing outside in the cold winter weather. Getting a hot flash in summer months is even more disgusting. There’s nothing you can do. Combine that with leg swelling, a red face and matted hair – and it’s just plain ick.


What is a hot flash?

As I mentioned yesterday, a hot flash can feel like a fever or even a mild panic attack. I think every women feels it differently. According to breastcancer.org, a hot flash is a sudden, intense and extremely hot feeling all over your body. But mostly affecting the face, upper body – like arm pits and chest. Some women experience weakness, headaches, anxiety or the feeling of suffocation or chills. This is why hot flashes are so difficult to diagnose.

For me, I knew it was a hot flash on Sunday because it came with severe pain in my ovaries and pelvic region. I knew that stepping outside would be the only thing to make it go away. I took some pain killers and by morning, I was okay again. Luckily, my doctor knows the risks and gave me some Toradol (pain killers) to take home with me. I’m going to savour these and keep them for bad days only.


How are hot flashes treated?

The treatment for a hot flash is going to vary. The key is to find out what is causing the hot flash, as hot flashes are often a symptom of another illness or disease. The main culprit is a hormonal imbalance.

As mentioned yesterday, with PCOS, the body can produce too many androgens which is the male hormone. But some women can have too much testerone or too much estrogen. This is where your doctor will need to conduct some lab tests. Usually a CBD differential, and basic endocrine function tests.

Remember, I’m not doctor. I’m literally reading this information from my requisition forms. I’ve come to learn a lot about my body, women’s health and lab tests over the years in my research.

There are a lot of treatments for hot flashes out there that include natural supplements, hormone replacement therapy, and over the counter products. However, I do recommend seeing your doctor or OBGYN to find the source of the hot flashes. Some medications can cause similar side effects.

When in doubt, just step outside, into the middle of winter. Trust me. I went to my appointment yesterday wearing just a sweater and it felt amazing.


Clinical Research

The main purpose of my sharing this information is not only to help promote awareness on women’s health, but to also share my experiences. I’m not a coach, but I feel I missed my calling in being able to help others professionally. I’m here just to share my experiences and my own personal research with you.

I have six years of experience working in the health field on the administrative side. During my time in addictions and mental health, I learned a lot about reducing the stigma of mental illness, and during slow periods, I used the information I had available to me, to conduct a lot of research. I’ve kept this to myself. But I think perhaps my purpose at this time in life, is to share that knowledge with you.

Getting Help

Please know that you are not alone in your suffering. There are many great resources out there that can help you. There are tons of blogs, websites, and Facebook groups dedicated to offering support. If you feel you need help, reach out to your local state services.

Foundation of Women’s Health is just one of many great resources. Sadly, many links I had saved have been shut down.


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