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mindfulness

Mindfulness vs. Mindlessness

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This is a repost from 2020 – rewritten and updated

This morning I decided to do a search for trending health topics to write about this week and came across this headline: Mindfulness vs. Mindlessness. Given my history working in addictions and mental health, I thought this would be a good topic to cover today.

So, I hit the Google and did some research. While I knew what mindfulness was – I had never heard the term mindlessness before.

What is mindfulness?

There are two definitions that pop up when you look up the word “mindfulness”.

-the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.”their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”

.a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Mindfulness is being able to live in the present moment. It’s a type of meditation or state of being that helps you to become full aware of what you’re feeling in the moment. To be truly mindful, you must be able to live in that moment without judgment. You can still plan for the future – but do so without worry or concern.

gray rocks on body of water during daytime

Mindfulness and Buddhists

The Buddhists are great teachers when it comes to the art of mindfulness. The mindfulness state of being is the main principal of Buddhism. It is a fundamental pathway that can lead to a spiritual awakening. For Buddhists, mindfulness is a way of life.

If you’d like to learn more about Buddhist Mindfulness, here is a list of books you can check out.

Buddhism, Monk, Temple, Panorama

How to achieve mindfulness?

To achieve mindfulness or living in the moment, many people find success through meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, guided imagery or other spiritual practices to help them focus. Continue reading to the end of this post for more helpful suggestions.

For me, connecting with nature is one of the most spiritual experiences for me. Whether it means going on a nature hike, or traveling to the mountains – or even meditating on my balcony late at night time. Being alone in nature and taking it in all her glory, is just one of many ways to achieve the mindful state.

Buddha, Zen, Meditation
Pixabay Photos

What does it mean to be mindlessness?

To live in a mindlessness state is the opposite of mindfulness. It can lead to careless or unthinking behaviors. Or to a less damaging degree, it can mean to carry out tasks or live day to day without consideration or thinking of consequences from your actions.

Some of these people who live in state might take action based on feelings or gut instinct rather than making an informed decision. Some people, like me, might be in a constant state of fight or flight mode that causes them to react this way. While others may be more on the empathic side and tend to feel more or react based on those initial feelings.

You might have heard the term “mindless work” – or someone who prefers to work in a job that requires little thinking on their feet. This could include jobs like stocking shelves, pricing items, food prep in a kitchen or working in a factory line. After a while, muscle memory takes over and your mind is free to think about whatever you want to think about.

The same principle can apply to the mindlessness life. To go through the motions without stressing or constantly worrying about the future. Or to act on impulse and “go with the flow.”

When it comes to my life, I’m a little of both. I’m a careful decision maker to the point of worrying. But a lot of times I make decisions based off of gut feelings or reactions. When I need to quiet the mind, I sit outside or go for a walk.

Trees, Field, Trail, Pathway, Path
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How to stay in the present moment?

Like any skill, learning to stay in the present moment takes some practice. It also takes making a commitment to yourself to make lifelong changes. Journaling will help you here. Make a list of things you want to achieve in your life. Develop a system to achieve those goals. Practice awareness through meditation, yoga or other spiritual practices. Be aware of your surroundings at all times.

And most importantly, and maybe the most difficult task – learn to enjoy where you are in life and the moment that you’re in without stressing about tomorrow.

Composite, Landscape, Fantasy, Dreamy

Practice daily gratitude

Practice daily gratitude and be thankful for where you are now – not where you want to be. Don’t focus on the things you don’t have in front of you. Focus on what you do have.

I’m bad for this – I’m always one step ahead trying to plan for the future and I think of all the things I don’t have. This often leads to over spending and buying things I don’t really need. I’m going to make a commitment to myself to appreciate all the things I have now instead of longing for things that are out of my reach.

They say it takes three weeks to form a habit. If you practice daily gratitude for three weeks and note at least one thing that you are thankful for – then this will become easier for you.

50 Best Gratitude Memes To Share When You're Feeling Thankful | YourTango

Use “I am” messages daily

Daily affirmations can help some people transition into positive thinking. Using “I am” messages can only help boost confidence – but they can also help with staying in the present.

  • “I am brushing my teeth.”
  • “I am working out.”
  • “I am going for a walk.”
  • “I am content with my life the way it is.”
  • “I am worth it.”

Meditation

Meditation will help to keep you grounded. You can practice meditation for a few moments every day on your lunch break or during your coffee break. For me, meditation can be as simple as having a bath and listening to soft music in the background. Or finding a quiet space to sit, and clear the mind of clutter and debris from the day. This can be hard to do if you haven’t meditated before.

Just five minutes each day will help you to stay focused and be more present.

Are you mindful or mindless?

Which type are you? Are you a mindful person or mindless? In the end, it doesn’t really matter how you live your life – as long as you’re able to enjoy the moments you are in and find something to be thankful for.

Whether you live in the moment, or you prefer to plan for the future – the key to finding out what works for you is to make a commitment to yourself.

Practice daily gratitude. Meditate often. Reconnect with nature. Go on a hike or take a trip to the mountains. Take up a hobby like crafting, painting or music.

Surround yourself with people who have similar goals and want the best for you. Remove the negative and toxic people from your life where you can. Build a small support group of those people who want to see you succeed at your goals. Build a life together with someone who has a similar outlook on life as you do.

But more importantly, find what works best for you. Whether it’s living here, right now, in today’s moment – or planning the next five to ten years of your life.

The key to a fulfilling life, is to find HAPPINESS and ENJOYMENT in what you do. To know inner peace and live in the moment, also means being comfortable on your own – and finding time for self reflection. Is that something you can do?

Iceland, Sky, Clouds, Beautiful, Sunrise

Thank you for reading!

This is an older post that I wrote in 2020. I’m working on a new mindfulness series and including posts on selfcare, meditation, etc. As spring approaches, I’m itching to get back in touch with my spiritual side and writing articles like this definitely helps.

Please note: I’m working on older articles and you may see a familiar post pop up from time to time in your feed. I think some of these conversations are great to revisit and re-evaluate later in life.

Mindfulness Series

spiritual

Recharge your soul: reconnect with nature

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Today is the best day I’ve had in months. Months! I woke up migraine free with good energy. A sore stomach but I think that it’s because I’ve been snacking at night time – I need to stop that. A good mood – even though it’s pouring with rain outside.

Why does it seem that the one day you have to go outside – it rains? And not just a drizzle – it’s been pouring non-stop since last night. Not that I mind, I love the rain. But really? On the one day I need to go out into the world?

I just came back from a short visit with my new family doctor. I really like him. He asks a lot of good questions. We reviewed some paperwork. He’ll fill out any form and charge me only $40 for it which I can write off. I have a note that will cover me to the end of summer and have some benefits coming in – so that is a relief.

I’m currently writing what feels like a book on my medical history with migraines. It’s interesting to try and recall really important dates. Like the time a migraine sent me to the ER after puking for 13 hours straight. Sorry, but I was traumatized. I think paramedic was too. Good thing he was quick with a bowl.

The worst part of the migraines is the nausea and vertigo. He finally asked me today about all the symptoms. I had asked him for a referral months ago – and he said he was working on it. But then asked me again today if I wanted one. So…. I hope he actually submitted one. Referrals can take up to a year.

I saw my good faithful friend Wally today who picked me up from the doctor’s and drove me home. We had a month worth of catching up to do. Sometimes I make up excuses to go out just so I can see him. He used to drive me to work daily and so I’ve missed that casual friendship. He’s happily married with three kids. He’s Polish. From time to time, we’d exchange things like baking, or treats during the holidays. He also helped me with my move out and I’m grateful to have someone I can rely on.

Contrary to what some people believe, living alone isn’t lonely. The pandemic has made it tough for sure – but I have friends that I can see for lunch dates or drinks. I have a bestie who reads this blog often and we talk daily. I have my sisters and talk daily with them. That was why I moved closer – to be close to them. And it’s really helped. To the point that my anxiety- it’s not even really an issue right now.

Dating? I don’t need to date to be happy. Fuck that logic and those who think that way. Relationships made me miserable. I over-thought everything and it drove me mad – and my partner too. Plus I was magnet for emotionally unstable men. Greg, for instance, had PTSD from the military. We had a strong connection because of it. We loved each other. But the relationship was never meant to be. And I’m okay with that. I don’t hate him. I don’t hate any of my exes. I learned to FORGIVE and let go. Which I think a lot of people struggle with.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know. My tummy is growling so I should get some food. But mostly – I just wanted to say.

I absolutely fucking love my life. I love the people I have in my life. Could things be better? Yeah, I mean – things could always be better. More money would be amazing. But I have a nice, clean and quiet home. I have friends I can count on. I have good relationships with some of my ex-partners – we’re even “friendly” on social media. I have good relationships with my family. I have lots of hobbies and interests to help fill in the days.

Daily Positivity #3: Recharge your soul

Life is too short to dwell on the negative people in life. Remember all the good things you have in your life. Family. Friends. Your home. Your job (if you love your job). Your pets. Focus on creative outlets. Hobbies. Go for a walk or run. Get out in nature and get lost (metaphorically) in your surroundings.

Take a break from social media. Go out and breathe some fresh air. Reconnect with Mother Earth – for she is always ready and will be there for you too.

Painted by – me!

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living well, Personal

Living Well: how to cope with chronic insomnia

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If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I suffer from a few chronic conditions – one of those conditions is chronic insomnia. Insomnia is something I’ve lived with for more than thirty years. There’s nothing worse than feeling tired and wanting to sleep – but not being able to sleep at all once you hit the sack.

In this article, I’ll share some tips I learned on living with insomnia and how you can rest better.

Before we get into how to treat chronic insomnia – let’s go over the basics of what it is.

Three Common Bedtime Habits Destroying Your Sleep | by Nick Wignall | Elemental

What is insomnia?

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that affects millions of people around the world each year. Your body may feel tired but the moment you lie down, you start to toss and turn. Your mind just won’t let you rest. Not getting enough sleep can severely impact your life – you might have mood swings, you might feel lethargic and move slowly during the day, or worse – you could seriously hurt yourself in an accident at work or while driving.

Insomnia can last for days. If you have chronic insomnia, it can last for weeks or even months. My longest spell with insomnia was over two months. I also had sleep paralysis during this time.

Symptoms of Insomnia

  • Feeling tired but not being able to sleep when you lie down
  • Feeling anxious or stressed out about daily life – and not getting enough sleep
  • Mood swings, depression, living in a state of confusion or “brain fog”
  • Waking up several times during the night or waking up too early and not feeling rested

If you wake up during the night and are unable to breathe or feel like you are choking – you may want to get tested for sleep apnea which is a condition that can cause weight gain and breathing problems.

Causes of insomnia

For me, insomnia comes and goes. Staying up too late or sleeping in one day or even having a nap can throw off my sleep schedule. Drinking caffeine too late in the day – coffee – can make it hard to sleep. Or working out too late in the evening might be the culprit. But the number one cause for my insomnia is – anxiety.

  • Stress or anxiety
  • Change in work schedule or traveling often for work
  • Poor sleeping habits and sleep hygiene
  • Eating too much late in the day or drinking coffee past a certain time
  • Hormonal shifts or conditions like menopause
  • Aging can cause you lose sleep as you get up to go to the bathroom more

My father used to sleep like a log until about five or six in the morning. When he started showing signs of Parkinsons, he started getting up three or four times during the night.

Some medications can cause insomnia like GERD, Parkinsons and Alzheimers, asthma, diabetes, cancer, restless leg syndrome or living with chronic pain.

Preventing insomnia

Take it from me, getting out of an insomnia funk can be difficult. My worst spell with insomnia happened in 2013-2014 when I fell ill. I went through all the tests you can imagine and everything was coming back normal. The moment I would lay down, my body would go into spasms or cramps and it prevented me from sleeping. The longest stretch that I went through was 100 hours without sleep – at all.

Finally, after getting five weeks of iron infusions to help with the cramping – I managed to grab some sleep. I had tried everything – even sleeping pills – and nothing was working. Things were so bad that I attended a sleep clinic before going back to work. Here are some things I learned on how to manage my insomnia.

Regular sleep schedule

This is crucial. Going to be around the same time and getting up in the morning around the same time is important to help naturally regulate your body and get your “internal clock” working again. I’m working on this now – I can’t seem to get up earlier than 9 am and going back to work is going to be such a shock. Avoiding naps is important too – I’ve managed to get through the day without a nap for several weeks now.

No caffeine past noon

If I drink coffee later in the day – than it may impact my sleep. I’ll have one or two cups of coffee in the morning and won’t drink it for the rest of the day. If I do get the caffeine craving later in the day, I’ll try and get a latte with skim milk. Or you could switch to decaf.

A Massive New Study of 347,077 People Just Revealed Exactly How Much Coffee You Should Drink Each Day. (Before the Health Dangers Outweigh the Benefits) | Inc.com

Regular exercise

Daily exercise helps me to sleep better at night time. The best sleep I ever had was after an aquafit class. Or after a steam massage with a salt scrub. My skin also felt amazing – I’m actually do for one any day now.

The 10 Most Important Yoga Poses for Beginners | DOYOU

Sunshine and Vitamin D

Getting some sunshine and natural vitamin D not only will help with your mental health but it can also help improve your sleep. If you live in a place like Alberta where we have such short winter days, I recommend getting a SAD light or talking to your doctor about taking vitamin D supplements.

Because of my history, I take two vitamin D3 gummies in the morning. My condo has large windows that lets in a lot of natural light and it can feel like I’m outside. I know going for a long walk or a hike in the wilderness can help me rest well.

How Little Doses of Sunlight Help the Body

Meal Spacing

As many of you know, I practice intermittent fasting to help lose weight. While weight loss progress is slow going, eating between certain times can help you sleep at better at night. I now eat between 11:00 am and 8:00 pm at night. Sometimes it’s 12:00 and 8:00 or 11:00 and 7:00 pm. But never past 8:00 pm at night time. This way I am never going to bed on a full stomach.

Eating healthy foods and staying hydrated can also help!

Healthy Food Doesn't Have to Be Expensive: How to Eat Well on a Budget | AHU Online

Sleep hygiene

Practicing good sleep hygiene is an important part of sleep well. Some people take baths or showers at night to help unwind after a long work day. My nightly ritual is to listen to some relaxing music before bed. Wash my face and neck. Make sure the bed is neat and sheets are tucked in. If my room is messy – I have to pick up things off the floor or take them off the bed – or that distracts me from sleeping.

Brushing my teeth, brushing my hair and even what I wear can impact my sleep. Sometimes a fan or white noise can also help block out other noises that may be happening.

I love my blackout curtains as well. These really help in the summer time when the sun is out early in the morning – way earlier than I need to get up.

20 Pretty Girls' Bedroom Designs | Home Design Lover

Meditation

Some people swear that meditation or yoga can help them sleep better. For me – I might listen to some Native American flute music or yoga music to help clear thoughts from my mind. Add in a cup of sleepy time tea and this can really help you catch some z’s. Check out my meditation page for some youtube suggestions.

10 Things We Know About the Science of Meditation - Mindful

No screen time!

Get off your computers and put your phone away for the night. Keep the phone on a nighttable and close the cover so you can’t see messages come in. If you need to, turn the phone on silent. Turn off notifications from social media sites that might otherwise keep you up.

If you’re using meditation music, lie down and close your eyes in your bed while listening to the music. Turn off all the lights and your phone.

If you’re a reader, you can try reading a book to help tire out your mind.

Therapy

If anxiety is affecting your sleep, you may want to consider therapy to get to the bottom of what’s causing your anxiety. Sometimes things are out of our control – as I’m learning – and you may need more help.

Talk to your doctor about medications that can help ease your anxiety or help you sleep. Melatonin is a natural supplement that can work to regulate your sleep schedule naturally. However, it doesn’t work for everyone. If you’ve tried Melatonin and all the remedies I suggested above – then you may need medical intervention to stop your insomnia.

I am seeing my doctor later today and will be asking for a little “help” for my insomnia. I don’t ask for medications often and she knows this. She may have some new ideas that can help me out. If she does, I’ll report back here.

There may be a medical condition that is causing you to toss and turn during the night – if so, then I highly recommend that you go for some labwork and routine tests with your doctor to rule things out.

Do you suffer from insomnia? What tricks have you learned to help you sleep at night time? Let me know in the comments!

Living Well Series

Personal

Grief: if ye love me

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In my line of volunteer work with the church, I’ve play music for a lot of funerals. And because I’ve been at the church as long as I have, I’ve come to know many of the church members and they have become an extended family.

I’ve never been a highly religious person. I’m obsessed with subjects that would be looked down upon in any church – magic, supernatural, divination, alternative healing methods. I was raised Catholic but never paid much attention to it.

The church for me, is about family, food, and learning about my heritage. It’s about making new friends. And it’s pretty much my social activity for the week other than seeing my dad. It’s something that is familiar and has been my home of nearly fifteen years.

Plus, I get to play music once a week. So, that’s a bonus.

A good friend of mine at the church lost her daughter last year and a grandson. We have bonded for years over Sunday morning coffee and chat about all things in life. There are six of us – regulars who are there almost every Sunday no matter what. Even mid winter snowstorms wouldn’t keep these folks away.

But as my friends reach the ages of 80 and even 92, like my beautiful red headed friend, I’m reminded of how precious life is and how short life can be.

After she lost her daughter she said one day on Facebook, and this sentence has really stuck with me since.

“Grief, is love. It really just has no place to go.”

Image result for grief
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Everyone says that grief eventually fades over time. But I find the older I get, that’s a lie. The more time that goes on, I seem to miss my mother more than ever. There are definitely days that are harder than others. There are days when it feels like she is right next to me watching me while I work on some project or in the kitchen – which was her favorite place to be.

Sometimes, I hear her voice in my head and go to pick up the phone and call her. Then I remember she’s gone and so I call my dad instead.

It’s been five years almost – and I don’t think gets easier. I think it gets harder as time goes on.

Younger people must have a harder time with loss. Especially children. Over time, you forget what people look or sound like. Thank goodness there are pictures and now videos to remind us of our loved ones. But what about the people we lost before technology came along?

We had a video camera in the 90s which my mum used a lot. But she used it to take videos of family. The grandkids. My sister. She rarely appeared on camera.

And that got me thinking about me. That’s me. I’m usually the one behind the camera taking pictures and I’m fine with that. But then I realized one day – hey. I don’t have kids. I don’t have a family of my very own. I don’t have something to leave behind.

I don’t have an imprint to leave on this world like my mother did with her 5 children and 9 grandchildren, and 1 great grandchild. That’s a pretty impressive resume, don’t you think? For one person? Creating a legacy that big?

And so, that’s where the inspiration behind “In Her Eyes” came from. My latest album release. It’s a 7 track album with original piano music.

On days where it seems I’m drowning in sorrow or grief, I turn to music for comfort. I sit in quiet contemplation until I hear a song that is so upbeat it gets my toes tapping and I can’t help but smile.

But for moments like this in the morning. When the world is mostly quiet and I’m sitting down with my coffee, wondering what to write about. It’s those moments that I think of my mother. It’s those moments I turn to music to quiet the ever busy mind.

It’s those moments that I get lost in the sounds of violins, cellos, classical guitar, piano and elegant choir voices that sound like angels. It’s these moments that I realize that grief will eventually pass and lead to something — more.

Music is magical. Music has healing powers. Music speaks to the soul. Music – like this. Sacred music shakes you to the core and makes you think about everything you’ve ever done in your life.

This music doesn’t just speak to your soul. It comes from the inner soul. It comes from the heart. It’s the music of angels.

Sacred Music on Spotify