Tag Archives: mindfulness

An introduction to Kitchen Witchery

03/24/2023 Charmeine 4 Comments

Cooking is something I love to do when I have the energy and spoons to do so. Working with natural foods like fresh vegetables and fruits in baking, is something I’m getting more in tune with. Not only for weight loss, but also just in an attempt to reduce processed foods from my diet.

When you struggle with chronic pain and fatigue, cooking can be the last thing you want to do. So, what’s really important to me, is to find ways to a) stretch the food budget, b) prep ingredients in advance, and c) batch cook or bake and freeze for later use.

One of my goals for the next few months, is to reduce the amount of food that I waste. This is difficult to do as a single person. So, that means, spending less on groceries, shopping with intention (pre meal planning), and focusing on foods that can last longer like canned beans or frozen vegetables which are just as good as fresh.

In addition to cooking healthier meals, I’ve been searching for natural ways to help reduce my anxiety and depressive episodes, and this research led me to the path of Green Witchery or Kitchen Witchery.

Some of my fondest memories since moving into this condo, has been in the kitchen celebrating events with friends. And while I’m no longer part of that friends group, I hope to make my home welcoming and have new friends over soon!

What is Kitchen Witchery?

The kitchen, is usually the hearth of most homes. It’s a place where families gather together for meals and discuss the day’s events. It’s a place where our guests gather to enjoy food you have prepared. It’s usually a place where I start my day with morning coffee and breakfast, and end the night with a cup of sleepy tea before bed.

Kitchen witchery is about incorporating magical or spiritual practices into your daily meal prepping. It’s about cooking with care, love and intention. It’s using fresh or organic products like fruits and vegetables, and working on reducing waste. This means using reusable products like cloth tea bags, glass containers for storage or mason jars, etc.

Anyone can practice Kitchen or Green Witchery. Think of Witchcraft like an umbrella term. There are many types of practices within Witchcraft, and I’ll cover those in a separate post. You can also be a Pagan, or a Wiccan and use these practices in your daily life.

The main principles of Kitchen Witchery

Planning your meals in advance, using natural or organic products, and creating your own recipes or kitchen spells or grimoire for kitchen spells
Celebrating special occasions like the Sabbats with friends, planning a meal, and enjoying food together
Crafting your own potions (syrups, dressings, beverages, meade, teas)
Decorating your kitchen with flowers, candles, dried herbs or plants, or other artifacts that you connect with
Meditating while prepping ingredients or thinking about what you want to accomplish the next day
Using sigil or runes in your cooking (drizzling oils, syrups, or using your finger to draw them in flour, etc)

How I practice Kitchen Witchery

Herbal and flower garden

Now that spring is here, I’m looking forward to being able to plant flowers and herbs for my outdoor (and indoor) garden. It’s a bit early to do that as the nights are still cold, but soon. I hope to have plants like lavender, lilac, and ivy.

I’ve tried regrowing things like celery, spring onions and think I will plant herbs like chives, mint and whatever else I can find locally. That’s the other thing – I try and support local artisans where I can and plan on hitting as many markets and farmer’s markets as I can afford this summer.

Healthy baking and cooking

As I mentioned in the opening of this post, I’m focusing on trying new dishes and cooking mostly healthy foods. I’m trying to reduce the amount of processed foods I use which is hard to do with a minimal food budget. There are still things like pasta noodles that I have in my cupboards (just in case). One thing I have started doing is adding beans and legumes to my daily diet and have noticed a drastic improvement in overall gut health and energy levels.

One thing I’d like to get back into is writing my recipes down and making printable recipe cards. So, I think I might make an online grimoire – and share these with you. It will be a work in progress.

Mindfulness in the kitchen

One thing I have learned to do since having a mice infestation in my last condo that really got bad (not my fault), I make it a point to clean up my kitchen counter and make sure all dishes are rinsed or put in the dishwasher. I’m getting into the habit of using canisters, glass jars (mason jars) and reusable ziploc bags for storing some foods too.

Waking up to a clean counter top and organized pantry cabinets, is a good way to start the day.

One of the first things I do after waking up and hitting the bathroom, is making that first cup of coffee. While doing that, sometimes I’ll put in some laundry or get started on daily chores. Or I’ll run through a list of things I’d like to get done that day. The earlier I get up, the more energy I find I have to do these things. However, if the pain is bad or I have a migraine, then nothing gets done.

Taking some time to prep my cup of coffee and stirring in the cream, while thinking about my next steps is becoming a morning ritual. Then I prepare my breakfast, and head to the computer to check email and connect with friends.

Decluttering and Reducing Waste

This is on my to do list and I’m hoping to get some work done on the cabinets over the weekend. About once or twice a year, I go through all my pantry items and pull out items that are near expiration date so I can use them up. Some items are okay to use after they expire – like oats, beans, or some baking goods. While others, are not like canned milk or some creamy soups.

I treat my cabinets like a grocery store shelf and rotate items. I’m really bad for not checking what I have in stock before ordering, and trying to be more diligent to prevent over buying. When I notice I am out of staple ingredients, I add them to my Instacart order.

I’m in search of things like glass containers and use my mason jars for homemade soups and some chilis. I’m also researching methods for storing fresh vegetables and soups so they last longer. And using not so fresh ingredients in baking like banana bread or muffins.

Using natural products or herbal remedies

When you live with a condition like hypermobility, it can impact your entire body. My body doesn’t produce collagen properly, so eating a healthy balance, losing weight and keeping my skin healthy is really important. This is why my diet is getting a complete overhaul.

I’m adding more natural foods to my daily regime but especially things like beans, lentils, oatmeal and eggs. Foods that are rich in protein, iron and fibre are essential for me.

When it comes to protecting the skin or warding off infections, I tend to gravitate towards things like – tea tree oil, coconut oil, etc. When it comes to anxiety and stress due to high levels of cortisol, I turn to teas like chamomile with a few drops of honey. There’s peppermint tea for upset stomach with migraines. And Dr. Teal’s lavender foam bath for achy muscles.

You get the drill.

Now that it’s spring time, I’m looking forward to having flowers in my kitchen again, buying some plants and really bringing outside – indoors. And I cannot WAIT to be out on the balcony again. I was out last night with a blanket for a while until it got too windy.

Connecting

I think that’s it for this post – that’s a lot of information! Are you a kitchen or green witch? If so, how do you incorporate magic and spell working into your daily routines? Please let me know in the comments and give this blog a follow!

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March 2023: Intentions “Mindful March” & Ostara Blessings

03/01/2023 Charmeine 1 Comment

March is already here and I can’t believe how fast this year has gone by. That means, it’s time to review how the last month went – and to set new list of intentions to work with.

February Recap and Highlights

February started off as a difficult month with a series of migraines that lasted for much of the first half of the month. The past week or so has been better and I have more energy. My sleep is basically back to normal and I’m up most mornings by 8:00 am. Sometimes I’m awake by 6:30 am, and sometimes I stay in bed to read – or until I get that “good morning” text from someone that likes to tell me to get up and drink my water.

Last month was really the first month that I decided to do monthly intention setting and the post was short. Going forward, I’d like to take things up a notch. I spent most of the afternoon in between making a delicious stew and apple loaf – designing the images you’ll see below. Canva is a nifty program, and I’m making use of the premium licensing.

Here’s a quick recap of February’s intentions:

For the most part, I stayed on track when feeling up to it last month. There were some days that all I could do was lay down in bed or read. And for that reason, I managed to read 2 books for my Good Reads Challenge. Some other highlights included:

Daily intentions: for the most part, I did daily Tarot readings for myself and friends on social media, even just pulling one card. I took some time each night and spent it at my altar, shuffling the cards slowly. Thinking about what I wanted to accomplish or what I needed to hear. I started eating healthier, cooking more, drinking herbal teas again, and am slowly getting back on the right track.
Good Reads Challenge: purchased a Kindle Reader for Kindle Unlimited books. I’ve downloaded about a dozen books I’d like to get through this year.
Practice selfcare daily: I slipped on this a bit with the migraines but had more relaxing baths in the last two weeks.
Getting crafty: I worked on digital art mostly and focused on my book which is coming along slowly.
Socializing and connecting with friends: while I didn’t make any new friends, writing daily helped connect me to new people online.

All in all, the month is finishing up strong. While I did not get out and socialize very much (or at all), I managed to keep in touch with friends often and even had a call from my new “friend” in California. We chat daily and it’s nice. I had to skip out on the February Witchery Market due to crappy weather. Here’s hoping that the spring market is better – and I even have a date for it!

Now…onto March! Here’s what’s happening in the next thirty days.

Mindful March

For March 2023 intention setting, I’d like do a little something different and work with daily intentions, gratitude and meditations. You can adapt this list and make it work for whatever your spiritual beliefs are. And if you are not a spiritual person, then feel free to just focus on the mindfulness part of it. The idea is that for the next 30 days, try and incorporate one of these rituals into your daily routine.

Start your day off with intention setting and coffee

Sit with your morning coffee or tea, meditate while you stir (counterclockwise), Soak in the delicious aromas and think about what you want to get accomplished for the day. Run through a list of plans in your head, or jot them down in a notepad (or digital notebook) – whatever medium you use.

I wrote a more in depth post the other month on How to Incorporate Mindfulness into your daily routine – read it here.

Ideas for daily mindfulness

Start your morning off with stretches to get the blood in your veins pumping. This will give you a boost of energy for your day.
Go outside, connect with nature and take stock of the beautiful things around you – pick at least 2 or 3 things. Take a picture, sketch if you’re an artist, or just take in the natural beauty that is Mother Earth.
Reach out to those in your life you care about and who may be struggling. Let them know you are there for them.
Say something nice to a random person, or to someone you know. Brighten up someone’s day to give them that dopamine hit.
Bullet journal and or aim to write 500-1000 words daily if you are a writer like me.
Work on arts and crafts, scrapbook, or garden if the weather is appropriate to do. Keep your hands and mind occupied with tasks that bring you joy.
Take at least one day where you can be on your own, or at least have your own time for a luxurious bath, or take a spa day.
Listen deeply to a friend in need, and really take in what they are saying.
Pause briefly, to take a moment and look up at the stars or the moon in the sky. Reflect on what the universe might be telling you.
Practice daily meditate, gratitude or consult your Tarot cards or runes if that’s what you’re into. Remind yourself of all the good things you have in life. And try and let go of the negative.

Stop. Deep breaths. Repeat regularly. Your anxiety will thank you.

My Personal Intentions for March

Get up before 8 am daily, drink water first thing, enjoy a sustaining breakfast. Think about intentions while drinking coffee. Make a list of things to achieve for the day.
Daily meditations, gratitude, and mindfulness techniques as listed above – I will try as many as I can. Also keep up with daily exercises and fresh air.
Write daily, at least 2000 words whether on this blog, journaling, or for my books. Work on graphic design, crafts and start organizing my home. Spend less time on Fetlife, and more time researching and learning.
Read daily and try and finish 1 book each week.

Mindfulness Planning Board – created with Canva

Mindfulness Journaling

Do you practice daily mindfulness? If so, how do you incorporate it into your daily life? Do you find that it helps lessen your anxiety? Let me know in the comments what you loved about this post and what you might carry on with you this month.

Word of advice: if you do a 30 day challenge, keep a diary or journal of what you did every day and how it made you feel – you can refer back it to every month 🙂

If you are looking for an online journal, I have a few on my Etsy store – check out the link here.

Thank you for reading!

Ostara and Spring Equinox Blessings

Ostara is just around the corner and thus marks the beginning of spring. That means the long days of darkness are soon to be over and the days will become a little longer. Already here, the sun comes out before 8 am and sets long after 6 pm.

Ostara is one of the eight Sabbats of Wicca or Pagan celebrations and one of my favorites on March 19-20-21. Celebrations are held around the world as people welcome the longer days.

This is the time people think about planting seeds for flowers and food, and also cleaning up the home – or decluttering. It’s a good time for meditation, and clearing out the clutter in your head and heart too.

Make sure to come back to this blog on March 20th, as I will be sharing my own rituals and thoughts for Ostara.

What’s happening this month spiritually?

March 07, 2023: Full Moon – Worm Moon
March 20-21, 2023: Ostara, Spring Equinox

March Correspondences

Astrological signs: Pisces and Aries
Birthstones: Aquamarine and Bloodstone
Colors: Go with spring colors, pastels, yellow, blues, pinks
Power animals: Lion, birds, grasshopper, bearded dragon
Wolf moon: intense dreams, start a new project, ritual, illumination and transformation

Related Information

For more information about my spiritual practices, please visit my Spirituality page. It is a work in progress, like this blog.

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Cozy cottages & fairytale dreamers : YouTube recommendations

02/07/2023 Charmeine Leave a comment

Every month, I think I’m going to share some of my favorite content creators here with you. My YouTube algorithm finally has gotten to know my preferences, and I’m discovering new artists daily.

Every morning when feeling well, I start my day with a cup of coffee and breakfast. I’ll sit down to watch the latest videos from my favorite channels. And for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hooked on a certain aesthetic and vibe.

Think cozy cottage and fairytale vibes.

These videos are so calming that it just starts my day off right.

Darling Desi

Desi is a content creator and filmmaker that lives in Utah, at least up until her most recent video in February 2023. Her channel was created in 2019 and she covers a variety of topics.

If you’re a fan of my blog, then I think you will enjoy her videos. She’s an avid reader and a fan of Canadian novels like Anne of Green Gables. She covers topics from anxiety, selfcare, to daily life as an artist.

Alwyn Oak

This channel is a new discovery for me and I’m in love with the overall vibe of her videos. Alywyn is a practicing witch and films many of her videos outdoors. She loves exploring nature, cooking, baking and crafting. She’s also a composer and shares her original music from time to time while celebrating Sabbats or other holidays.

Alywyn often shares ideas on how to celebrate the Pagan Sabbats or spiritual holidays. I find her ideas to be really inspiring for my own celebrations as a practicing witch. She also has videos dedicated to selfcare, rituals and healing practices.

Moss & Mirth

The creator of Moss & Mirth lives in an organic garden sanctuary that she describes as hidden in the trees of a rainy magical forest. Her videos give off a magical sort of vibe as she works on hand crafts or home projects.

Moss & Mirth is a smaller channel with just 345 subscribers, so do check out her videos if you get a chance. I’m all about supporting other artists that share their work and ideas.

Poetry of Slow Life

Daria is a self described cottage daydreamer that lives in the English countryside. Her channel has been active since 2015 and she has just over 20,000 subscribers. This is another great channel that goes for the cozy vibe and focuses on cozy cottage and slow living life.

The Cottage Fairy

I know that I’ve already plugged this channel in a previous post, but this is honestly one of my favorite channels to binge on those dreary days when you might be moving a little slower.

Endy is a talented artist and illustrator that lives in a cozy cottage in the Washington State. She’s an artist, and also rents out properties that she decorates for holidays and special occasions. She’s also an avid reader and I love her book recommendations.

She posts new content weekly and covers a variety of topics from selfcare, anxiety, mental wellness and mindfulness. I love her videos so much, and as someone with anxiety, I really find I connect with her way of thinking as well.

YouTube Recommendations: Artisans & Herbalists

anxiety, mindfulness

How to incorporate mindfulness to your daily routine

01/18/2023 Charmeine 3 Comments

Mindfulness is described as being the state of being aware or a state that keeps you in the present moment – instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about future events that you have no control over.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, this is difficult for me but also a necessary part of healing and moving forward in life. In addition to incorporating daily spiritual practices, I thought I would share some ideas and tips on how you can practice mindfulness in your daily life.

These are things you can do from anywhere – even if you’re on the road or traveling. It won’t cost you anything and you only need minimal supplies.

My spiritual workings involve a lot of meditation, journaling and doing a lot of these things already – so, don’t be surprised if some of my advice is overlapping in some areas.

Start your day with intent

Something I’ve always done as an anxious person, is wake up in the morning and run through a list of things that I need to get done for the day. I keep calendars and sticky notes with reminders of important tasks or appointments that I can’t miss. I run through plans multiple times in my head to make sure that I won’t be late or miss anything I need to do.

Now that I’m not working, my to do list is a lot shorter. So, it’s important for me to find things to do during the day that fill up the time and give me a sense of purpose (as health and symptoms allow for). Some days, all I can do is sleep if I have a migraine or in a lot of pain. On those good days, like today – I feel motivated and try to be productive where I can.

Take some time after you wake up, or during your morning routine to think about what you want to accomplish that day. Whether it’s finding time for yourself to meditate. Or get that workout in. Or go for a walk. Visit with a friend. Whatever it may be – set an intention for you that brings you joy. Even if it’s something like buying a coffee and drinking it while listening to music.
Check in with yourself during the day. Make adjustments if necessary to fit it in with your schedule. Remind yourself why this is important to you and why it is needed. The more you do this, the easier it will become a habit for you.
Rinse and repeat – every day, until this becomes second nature to you. Soon, you won’t even need a journal or to write things down. You’ll train yourself to be able to just follow through. The important thing is not to give up on those down days when you’re feeling low. Don’t be too hard on yourself. And don’t set unrealistic intentions. Start small and work your way up.

Mindful Eating and Exercise

Too often, I find myself eating meals at my computer while watching my favorite YouTube channels or binge watching shows in the evening. Sometimes, I eat so fast, that I feel hungry within an hour or two, and then crave junk food which always makes me feel worse.

One thing that can help with weight loss and improving eating habits in general, is to be more mindful of how you eat – now just what you eat.

Take a few deep breaths before eating. Calm your mind. This works better if you eat meals alone or on your breaks. Eat slower, chew slowly. Enjoy every bite you take.
Eat the foods you love – don’t force yourself to eat foods you’re not a fan of. Eating should be pleasurable. If weight loss is your goal. do research into healthy meals – there are lots of foods out there that can help you meet your goals, you just have to put a little time and effort into them.
Listen to your body. Pay attention to how hungry you are. If your stomach is getting full, don’t force yourself to eat all the food in front of you. Package some of it up for later. Or eat smaller meals throughout the day. This will depend greatly on any medical conditions you have or special diet requirements. Eat to sustain your energy, not because you are bored or feeling sad.
Look at your relationship with food – do you have healthy eating habits? Do you often forget to eat or skip meals? Do you eat out of boredom or to help with grief or strong feelings? Once you recognize your eating patterns, you can work on your relationship with food. You may need to recruit a professional therapist or counsellor if you really struggle with it.
Move a little every day – You don’t have to get an expensive gym membership or build a full gym at home to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Start small. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. Go for a walk on your break. Go to the mall and walk the halls in winter months. You can do things like yoga or pilates at home. As long as you move at least 15-20 minutes daily, you’ll notice a shift in how you feel overall.

Meditation to strengthen your focus

As someone with undiagnosed ADD, I struggle a lot with focusing on specific intentions or tasks. I easily get distracted or become disinterested in things the moment I get started on. Even with this article, I started on it five hours ago – and have worked out, cooked dinner and completed other tasks that I could have waited on.

Meditation can really help strengthen your focus. This can be done by focusing on your breathing, listening to music, or doing something physical like yoga. For me, music is my meditation. Or I have to force myself to lie down and try and clear out thoughts that are running a mile a minute in my busy and anxious brain.

Here are some types of meditations you can do, to help “slow your roll” and that may help to strengthen your focus.

Deep breathing exercises
Body scan meditation (lay down, relax, focus on breathing)
Sitting meditation (with intent)
Walking meditation (connect with nature)
Music meditations – binaural beats, alpha, or theta (I’ll write another article on this)

Bullet journaling or practicing or writing

This is something that is new to me and I have a private journal I write in often, especially on those low days where I want to keep thoughts to myself. On good days, I’ll write a post here or share with my friends.

Using a daily bullet style journal is a very useful tool for practicing the art of mindfulness. It’s about self-exploration, writing down thoughts that come to you or questions that might come up. You can jot down your feelings about certain events or situations. Or you can create lists of intentions and things you want to accomplish.

You can do this the old fashioned way, on pen and paper. Or you can download journals from sites like Etsy and use on your tablets. Journaling has come a long way and you can tailor something to help meet your bulleting needs.

I try and write a little every day. Whether in this blog, my private journals, or working on my short stories and books. This is a hobby for me, and helps me relax.

Why is mindfulness is important?

If you’re a person like me that struggles with anxiety, adding these practices to my daily life can not only give me something positive to focus on, but also can greatly reduce the number of panic attacks or anxiety attacks I might have in a given day.

Living with chronic pain and a disability can be difficult to manage – especially on those days where it seems like just getting out of a bed can be a chore. I felt a lot of guilt for not being able to work, and now, I’m accepting this is life now. And I’m making the most of the time I have here. This blog is a hobby for me and I’m writing about issues that bring me joy.

Mindfulness can help manage illnesses like generalized anxiety, depression and other mental health issues that you might struggle with. If you live with daily pain like I do, it might even help boost your serotonin (the happy hormone) or dopamine, and give you energy needed to get your daily tasks done.

You may even find over time, that your relationships become easier to manage as you learn new coping techniques for stressful events. You learn what’s worth fighting for, and what’s worth letting go of – even if it hurts.

Learning to work with things you can control, and letting go of what you cannot control, is honestly a game changer when it comes to mindfulness. Knowing that you’re doing the best you can, in extraordinary circumstances, focusing on what you can do, while letting the universe take the wheel for the rest.

What are some ways that you incorporate mindfulness into your busy routine?

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Working with intentions instead of resolutions

01/06/2023 Charmeine Leave a comment

I’m not a fan of making resolutions at the start of a new year. Resolutions are easy to forget and give up on. Many people often make goals or lists that are unattainable or unrealistic. Or they lose momentum and motivation within the first month of the year.

A good example of this, is how many people buy gym memberships in January and start training, only to quit after a month or two. As someone who prefers home workouts, I’ve never understood this mentality. It just sets you up for failure.

A few years ago, I started off the new year by making a list of goals that I want to achieve. Sometimes, I’ll break the goals down from month to month or I’ll assign deadlines which help keep me motivated.

This year – I’m trying something new and letting go of old habits. Instead, I want to focus on INTENTION – and what that means for me.

What does the word intention mean?

That’s a good question. Intention is one with cause and effect. It determines the outcome of any situation. If you’re stuck, and not moving forward in life, you need to check the thought and action that created your current situation.

Creating a list of intentions for you to focus on – may help you get “unstuck”.

As part of mindfulness and healing, I sat down and asked myself some hard questions this past week. This is part of shadow work – something I’ll write more about later. It’s a form of deep healing that some people do to let go of trauma bonds and emotional grief or disappointments.

Some questions that came up for me were:

What are some things I want to accomplish this year?
What are things that will help improve the quality of my life?
What are things that bring me the most joy?
What are some areas that I can improve on?
What did I learn last year, that I can carry on to this year?

These questions will help me determine goals that I want to set for myself and aspire to. Instead of focusing on negative, I’m looking at things (even small things) that will help improve the quality of my life.

What are my intentions for the year?

Now, that’s a very good question. My first intention, is to focus on improving my current state of depression and learning to let go of past hurts. Moving forward with lessons learned from what went wrong last year. The year wasn’t all bad. I made some great new friends and had some amazing first experiences. But – there was also a lot of heartache that I’m still recovering from.

The key is to take lessons from those experiences, so you don’t make the same mistakes twice.

Education and spiritual practices

My main goal this year is education. I want to learn as much as I can, and absorb as much knowledge as I can so that I can share these learnings with you. Areas of focus will include: spiritual practices, languages, arts and crafts and learning more about my ancestry – the Nordic roots.

This means getting back into reading. I’d like to read at least ONE book per month. I think that is a pretty attainable goal.

Improving overall health and wellness

This will happen in various stages through the year. Since Christmas, I’ve mostly been catching up on sleep after months of serious sleep deprivation. It means, trying to regulate my sleep patterns.

This means continuing to eat healthy, cook more meals and stock up the freezer for summer months with meals that can be reheated. This means sitting outside more on warmer days and using the balcony daily in warmer months. This means going for nature walks as my knees allow for it. Going for coffee with friends. Attending workshops and events that will help me connect with likeminded people and make new friends.

Practicing daily mindfulness

This means writing more – here in this blog and in my journals. Researching new topics to cover and track my moods. Practice daily gratitude and mindfulness techniques so that I can appreciate the here and now -and what I do have, rather than focusing on what was lost.

Working with my hands

Part of the issue of not working, is that I have a lot of time on my hands. I’m not able to hold down a job due to physical disabilities. The pain is too much at times from arthritis and fractures that I live with. On those good days where I have good energy, I intend to keep my hands busy. Work on bracelets, artwork and create digital products for Etsy. This is a hobby for now. It brings me joy and keeps the mind distracted.

Learning new skills would be helpful so that I can expand my current capabilities in jewelry making. I’d love to make necklaces and sell them to friends.

Staying connected

This is a hard one for me. When I hit depression, or low periods, as I call them, I just do not have the energy or stamina to be around people. I need time on my own to recharge. This often means losing friends and or unintentionally pushing people away.

Something I need to work on is repairing those connections that went awry – and that are meaningful to me. Staying in touch with friends that I want in my life. And – opening up my heart again to the possibility of new friends. This might be the most challenging thought of ALL.

Live with intent and follow up on actions

I think that’s a pretty good list. I try and keep intentions or goals to 3-5 for the year. I tend to revisit my list each month and create a progress report for friends to read if they’re interested.

My main goal is to live with intention. Follow up on promised actions. Make amends. And heal. However that looks from month to month, we’ll just have to wait and see what comes up this year.

One thing I do believe in is – the energy you put out there, often comes back at you. The three fold rule of attraction. I’m working on hard on trying to attract only good things and people in my life. While not tearing down those who may be struggling as well.

What are your intentions for the upcoming year? Let me know in the comments!

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Spiritual empaths and natural empathy

02/07/2022 Charmeine Leave a comment

The other day I came across a really good blog post by Dr. Perry. I followed him back in 2020 and other authors like him when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’ve had issues with anxiety all my life but my doctor never diagnosed me. It’s a shame really.

This article on Empathy really spoke to me in a lot of ways. You may have seen me refer to myself as an empath and that is very true. An empath is a person who is very sensitive who attuned to the spiritual world around them.

I suppose it’s one of many reasons that I am a homebody. Being around people can be exhausting at times especially if they give off negative or oppressive vibes. Some people wear their trauma on their sleeve and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but when you are an empath, you wear their feelings too. Without even realizing it sometimes.

Spiritual Empaths

Being an empath means having a heightened awareness of emotions and and feelings of other people. You can easily pick up energies around you and this rang true for me for most of my life.

A spiritual empath is someone that has a natural ability to feel empathy on a deep level. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone has the ability to be empathic or to feel empathy for others. But there are some people, like me, who are born with this gift.

Signs that you might be an empath

There are several indicators that can help you determine if you are a spiritual empath. Keep in mind, that spiritual empaths are different than those that can feel empathy. Spiritual empaths tend to feel things more strongly and pick up on energies that others cannot.

Feeling someone’s pain or trauma but not recognizing it as your own
Heightened sense of awareness about the people around you, the place you are in, or events that are about to happen
Inner intuition so strong, that it has saved you from getting into trouble or warned you about other people
Sensing the presence of “others” around you – that you can’t see with your own eyes

Picking up on energy around us

When I worked at a local college, registration day would always leave me with this burst of energy. It was like I was high on drugs – which I wasn’t. The school was full of excitement as new students came to register for their first day of classes.

Likewise, during exam time, I would come home with tension headaches or feel the stress that students faced during the day. And if a student had a meltdown, I felt that too.

Desire to help others

It’s what made me so good at that job. I had so many students come into the office begging to see counselors. If no one was around, which was often – I would help them with their resumes and finding jobs.

Sometimes I just listened to them and talked them through their feelings. It wasn’t my job. I definitely wasn’t paid to do that. But I couldn’t let them leave like that. I just couldn’t. So, I talked them down and booked them an appointment with the counsellors.

Years later, I had a former student deliver me a pizza. He was so happy to see me. “You helped me get this job!” he said to me. And then I handed him a $10 tip. “You changed my life!”

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had gone into career counselling. I feel like I missed my calling. It’s something I regret. But I got to befriend seniors through my volunteer work. So, there were a lot of lives I’ve made an impact on now that I look back over my years at the church as a musician.

Inner intuition

This is something I have written about before. Spiritual empaths have a deeper level of intuition that can either be a gift or curse at times. It feels like a stomach ache, cramp or a “bad feeling” when something is about to go very wrong.

The feeling can be about a place, a person, or an event that may happen later on. It’s like an internal warning system that goes off.

For me, I have this with some people. It served me well in the workplace until I became ill. I called it my “spidey” senses. I would get a feeling in my gut that I couldn’t trust a new person. And so, I kept my guard up around them.

Getting out of bad situations

Other times, I got the “punchy-gut” feeling when out in public with friends. I remember at one Canada Day celebration at the provincial building – things were getting a little rowdy and the crowd had grown too big for my liking. I got that punch-gut feeling in my stomach and looked up. I tugged on my friend’s arm and whispered, “we need to leave,” and sure enough – the police came out with batons, guns and shields.

We bolted out of there fast and an instant migraine hit. That sometimes hits too. Migraines from feeling too much tension of those around me. I could literally feel the tension inside of me.

Negative energies or “bad juju”

There have been times when I have felt a presence when entering a new building or home. Walking into the Notre Dame building in Montreal was like this for me. It was hot, stuffy, and had this really dark vibe. I can’t explain it well. I just felt this heavy and oppressive feeling when I sat down to watch a concert. I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being watched by something old. Really old.

I’ve had this feeling when walking into other places. A friend’s home had unusual activity and I got that feeling at night time. She said she felt like she was watched all the time. It depressed her and her health started being affected by it until she finally moved out of the house.

My old house had this feeling from time to time after my mum died. I’ve been in other places that felt oppressive. I call it “bad juju.” It’s a feeling that’s hard to shake.

It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You get goosebumps on your arms. A shiver runs down your spine. Fear creeps up slowly on you. Or maybe not fear but an uneasy feeling that leaves you almost sick.

Have you ever felt that, walking into a building or home? How do you describe that feeling?

When feelings become too much

Sometimes being around people can be too much for me. I’ve played the piano at my fair share of funerals. I got to a point where the death of a friend hurt, but it didn’t devastate me like when I was younger. I’ve had more than my fair share of loss for one life time.

If I had to perform at the funeral, I learned to shut off my emotions and act like the professional musician that I was. I’m mostly retired now.

None hurt so much as when my mother died eight years ago. After she died, I felt her around me still. Her energy. Her spirit. And yes, before you tell me ghosts aren’t real – I believe in them. I’ve had too many spiritual experiences not to – in all the homes I’ve lived in.

When it comes to grief and funerals, I find I’m just drained after that. I haven’t had to play one in a long time. And when my health started to decline last year, I started turning funerals down, only accepting gigs where I knew the family.

I still grieve for all the friends and family I have lost. This is a constant struggle and one of the reasons I started this blog.

Selfcare for empaths

This is an important part of being an empath. You need to learn to take care of yourself. If that means shutting yourself off to the world for a few days, then do it. Let your friends know you’re having a difficult time and just need more downtime. They will understand.

Meditation, relaxation, hot baths, sleeping – are all great things to do for selfcare. Writing is my main form of therapy. I write probably 4000-5000 words daily. I’m starting to write books about my experiences.

Prayer can help, if you are the praying kind. Pray to whatever deity you have opened yourself up to. Ask for comfort from loved ones who have passed on. Having faith can be a wonderful thing – no matter what that faith is in.

Connect with others like yourself – but be careful about toxic energies and people. You need to cut contact with those people and keep it to a minimum. They will wear your soul down.

The eyes of a soul

Getting to know people for me is harder now. But when I was younger, all I had to do was look into someone’s eyes to know what kind of person they were.

If the eyes were cold or they gave me a blank stare – I knew that person was a lost cause. They were a danger to themselves or to others around them. I cut ties or distanced myself from them.

If a person greets you with a smile, and there is kindness in their eyes – that person truly cares for you. Those are the people you want to hold close and keep them in your life.

There’s that saying “he looks like an old soul” – that means their eyes are full of wisdom. If you see “old soul eyes” on a baby or toddler – they are more likely to grow up with spiritual abilities or a natural empath.

You might hear terms from authors like kind eyes, gentle eyes or a cold and unyielding stare. You can tell a lot from a person’s eyes.

Spiritual beliefs, the afterlife, loss, grief

When it comes to discussing taboo topics like aliens, ghosts and other supernatural entities, I have mostly kept my beliefs to myself. But I fear as my illness grows worse, and the pain becomes unbearable, that maybe my time on this earthly plane is running out. That could be part of the depression too. I’m grieving over the news from my geneticist.

I’ve been thinking more and more about what happens when we sleep at night. What happens to our soul or essence. That part that makes us who we are. I believe that when we die, our physical bodies die and we either bury them or opt for cremation. That’s my plan – it’s better for the environment.

I know that I travel a lot in my dreams. It’s inspired books that I’m working on and short stories. I’ve had visitations from loved ones in my dreams. Mostly, my mother, uncle and grandmother.

I believe that dreams are a doorway to the spirit realm. This is what the Indigenous Elders taught me over the years. There are beings like Shadow Walkers in Norse mythology and Native American culture that possess the ability to move between the spirit world and living world. They can visit us in our dreams. I’ve had one too many dream experiences to know that this could be true.

I’m obsessed with the paranormal and learning all I can about the mythology of spirits, demons, ghosts, whatever other names you have for these entities.

I’ve had people call me crazy. And yet, I’ve met many wonderful people who share the same beliefs and we have exchanged stories. I’ve followed some hospice care nurses on TikTok that all have similar stories of loved ones visiting their patients in their final days.

I believe in an afterlife. There has to be more than this world that we live in. This world is sometimes cruel and painful to live in. In dream form, everyone I meet is healthy. Even my mother is healthy and vibrant. Full of life.

And so, if you’re a non-believer that’s fine with me. But if you start calling me crazy, and tell me to get my brain scanned – you can just move along. It’s fine that we have a different belief system. But I’m going to use this blog to share more of my dream visitations and stories.

I welcome anyone with an open mind to follow this blog and share their paranormal or dream travels with me.

Thank you for reading.

Head over to my Spiritual Guidance section to learn more — it’s a work in progress.

mindfulness

What is self-worth and how can we build on it?

02/10/2021 Charmeine Leave a comment

I was doing some research this afternoon to look up some popular trends in blog topics that I could write about. I realized I have written a lot about self-care and the importance of caring for ourselves during challenging times – but I haven’t touched on the importance of self-worth.

This is something that I often struggle with and it’s partly what led me to therapy – to work on issues on self-esteem and self-confidence. Too often we give ourselves to others we love while neglecting the care we need for ourselves. These articles are gentle reminders not only to me, but to my readers as well that we all need to take time for our “self” health.

Today I want to explore the meaning of self-worth and how we can build up self-worth in our daily life.

What is self-worth?

Self-worth can have many different meanings for many different people. In general, self-worth refers to how we feel about ourselves overall and how we act or behave towards others.

Self-worth often blends in with other “self” terms like self-esteem, self-confidence, loving yourself and so on. I guess the question here becomes – how can we know is our self-worth is enough? What is enough self-worth? And how do you build on self-worth when you’re feeling low about life overall?

Self-worth Meaning

When you look up the definition of self-worth, Merriam Webster describes it as “a feeling that you are a good person, who deserves to be treated with respect.” Some would argue that self-worth is more about your behaviours than your emotions – how you act towards others is one way you can measure your self-worth.

Self-acceptance

Here’s another self word for you – self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is usually achieved through competing with others. For instance, when you think of movie stars who have received dozens of awards or athletes who have shelves full of trophies. These awards and accomplishments can be an ego booster and help to build up our image to others.

But we must be careful here. While self-acceptance can be a good way to boost our sometimes fragile egos, too much self-acceptance can lead to negative qualities such as arrogance, and even more dangerously – narcissism.

Measuring Self-worth

There are many factors that come into play when measuring our self-worth. Appearance, money, or class in society, social circles, (think elite status in Hollywood), your career and what you achieve.

For me – self-worth was apparent when I was involved in music competitions. I always wanted to win. But over the years, I only took home a couple of awards. While I knew I had done my very best in my performance, there was always someone who was that much better than me. And it drove me to be a better musician. Competition was the driving force behind my musical studies as a junior high and high school student.

Healthy outlook on self-worth

For me, music competition was a healthy outlet and way to gain recognition among my peers in the music community. Every time I competed, I learned something new by watching others perform. Like I remember this one kid, who not only played a mean jig on the piano, but he also kept in time with a foot block. I had never seen that before in a live competition and even I had to admit – he deserved the win.

For non-music people, self-worth can be measured by how well you perform at your job no matter what your job is. Are you expecting a bonus at the end of the quarter? Or perhaps you finally got that promotion you’ve been working hard for?

Or maybe you’re a student striving for straight A’s. Or you’re a mom with two kids and a job and are looking to make some more time for yourself – even just fifteen minutes each day. These are all valid and healthy ways to measure your self-worth.

How to Build Up Self-Worth

A question I see often on Reddit boards is – how can I like myself better? How can I feel good about what I’ve done? Or how can I build up my confidence?

As a mid-forties female, the one thing I can tell you for sure is this is not an easy feat. All it takes is one bully or one person to nag at you or constantly poke fun at your failures or mistakes – and that one person can undo years of work you’ve put into yourself.

The one thing I have learned in this life of mine, is that what we put out into this world comes back to us. It may not come to us right away – but karma usually finds a way. So, I try and live by the motto that “do unto others as I wish they would to me” even if they are the meanest person on the planet.

Though sometimes this can be hard to do when we’re not feeling very giving or want to be selfish – just this once. And it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. At least it is in my eyes – because we all deserve a little selfishness. Especially when we give so much of ourselves to others.

Learned behaviours

What I’ve also learned in this life, is that our behaviours often come from learned behaviour – even early on in life. We learn certain things from our parents and our siblings – whether they are good or bad. Children often mimic their parents especially as toddlers when they get to that stage of copying everything you do.

The most important advice I can give here is to practice the art of unconditional love. Practice daily gratitude and show appreciation for the things and people you do have in life. Make small goals for yourself and reward yourself when you’ve met those goals. No matter what those goals are.

I was lucky enough to have a great set of parents. Both were hardworking and ethical who always tried to lend a helping hand to our community and those in need. My mother often sacrificed family time to go on the road and help volunteer at a national level. Because of her hard work on programs like the Block Parents, she was able to help thousands of families across the country. In my eyes, this my made my mum – invaluable.

That’s always been my goal in life. To become invaluable like my mother and father were in their own fields. My dad was a successful business owner and I learned business ethics from him. My parents always managed to put food on the table and clothes on our backs even during difficult times. And to me – that was an invaluable lesson to learn as a child. It helped shape who I am today.

I try to live by the example they lead. I try to live by their ethics and all the good things in life that they practiced as well.

I realize that not everyone grew up in a household like mine. Looking back now, we were one of the lucky families. We had our shares of troubles and loss – but my parents were always able to work through it all together.

Daily exercises for self-worth

Remember, I’m not a trained psychologist. I did work in the health field for six years and learned a lot during my time in the provincial health system. The information I pass on here in this blog comes from research and my own personal experiences. The advice I’m giving below is what has worked for me.

Practice daily gratitude

The art of daily gratitude is something I too struggle with. I complain way more than I should. I have a friend on Facebook who has been writing “daily gratitude” posts on her Facebook status. Surprisingly, she’s kept it up for over a year. They say that it takes two or three weeks to form a habit. If you start off by writing something you are thankful for every day, it can change the way you think about life in general.

Goal Planning

Set small but realistic goals for yourself. Whether it’s to get a promotion at your job, take a new course, get straight A’s in school or lose by five pound – write it down and come up with a realistic plan. People often fail at their goals because they’ve set the starting bar too high and give up early. By starting off small, you can work your way up. Start with short-term goals that you can achieve each month and work up to longer term goals.

Law of Attraction

I’m not all new agey and into the law of attraction, but there is merit to this way of thinking. What you put out into the world often comes back at you. People will remember you most for how you treated them. If you practice good work ethics, try also working on being kind to others – even to those who don’t seem to deserve the kindness. This can be a hard thing to do. I’m still working on it.

Some people believe that what you put out into this world, will come back to you. So, if you’re working more on positive instead of negative, and having an upbeat outlook on life – things may start to turn around for you.

Thank you for reading

I think that’s a good place to end the article. I just saw another baby mouse (same one from yesterday I think) and I need to go bleach my eyes and floor out. Hope you enjoyed this article on self-worth. If you’re interested in writing down your goals, I have some worksheets and digital journals you can purchase via Etsy.