Tag Archives: self-pity

Thursday mood: wallowing in self pity, care to join me?

It’s Thursday. The last few days have flown by. I’ve had nothing but phone calls, emails to send, letters to write – and not even for good stuff. When you have chronic medical conditions, this has a huge impact on your overall quality of life. A lot of time is spent writing medical reports, sending faxes to doctors, making phone calls to medical offices, calling up your pharmacists and getting up to date information on medications.

It’s draining. Having a chronic medical condition is bad on its own, but having to do all the paperwork for treatments and benefits it almost a full time job. Especially when you have to continuously prove that you are ill.

The system is flawed. It’s not that I don’t want to work. It’s that there days where I feel good. And other days that just suck the life out of me.

And this migraine. I’ve had it for almost sixteen days now and counting. I’m basically shooting up $24 into my nose. This must be how coke addicts feel. To get rid of a migraine, it costs $24 CDN to shoot meds up my nose. It hurts. It’s unpleasant. I don’t recommend it. Maybe I’m glad I’m not a coke addict for that reason. But I’m guessing by that point, they don’t feel the pain much anymore.

Migraines suck the life right out of you. It makes it hard to focus on any one task.

I’ve spent the last two days sending out faxes and emails to introduce myself to new doctors who might accept me as a patient. It’s like online dating. It’s a lot of talking about yourself and making yourself sound good. But even that’s hard.

And so – here we are. So close to Christmas. But even with the tree it doesn’t feel like Christmas. It won’t be much of a Christmas as I sit here alone missing my family.

And so that’s where are on this self-pity kind of day. It’s a pity party for one. Anyone care to join me in self-wallowing and loathing?

Maybe it’s time to say migraine be damned. It’s time for a glass of rum and coke.

Happy Thursday.